Want Some Cheese With That Whine?

Retirement from Blogging

2007-07-31T15:47:00.000-05:00

Lately I have had no incentive to write. It seems that whenever I am stressed or upset over some aspect of my life, the writing comes easier to me. For the past few months, life has been really good to me, thank G-d. I get annoyed and irritated over small things; if I wanted to, I could blog about my long wait at the doctors office but who wants to read that? We should all be so lucky to have that be the worst part of our week. I haven't decided whether or not I will take this blog down, if you come back in a few days and it's not up, I guess you'll know my decision.

8 Things About Me

2007-07-18T09:12:00.000-05:00

It seems that there has been this 8 random things tag going around and this gives me a good excuse to start blogging again so...

1. I cannot start my day without a bowl of cereal, in fact I could eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (which I have done on occasion).

2. I like mushroom sauce but dislike mushrooms, I like tomato sauce but don't like tomatoes except for the little cherry tomatoes.

3. The closest I ever came to getting a tattoo was getting a temporary henna tattoo on my hand for a Hindu wedding that I went to almost 7 years ago. It stayed on for two weeks and I got funny looks from my co-workers at the time when we came back from summer break (at that time, I worked in a school). Also, when I was in Israel last year, I got a temporary tattoo painted on my upper back. I couldn't remember what the tattoo was for the life of me. Besides the fact that in Judaism you are not allowed to get tattoos, I find them really unattractive, especially when you get older and the tattoo becomes all mottled and doesn't look anything like it did originally.

4. I have never had my ears pierced.

5. When I was 11 years old, my family drove cross-country from New Jersey to California and back in our Chevy van. The van has long since expired but the memories from that trip haven't. Whenever I come home, I still love to look at that photo album and would love to repeat that trip at some point in my life.

6. My mom and dad have degrees in science and math, respectively and all of my brothers are very intelligent in the hard sciences. On the other hand, I have always struggled with math and science in school and eked out a passing grade in pre-calculus in college and failed Bio 101.

7. I was such a bookworm as a kid and still am. The library is one of my favorite places to go to and I always make time to read. As a kid, I loved reading Agatha Christie novels (particularly the novels with Hercule Poirot, didn't really care for the novels with Miss Marple). There was a time when I loved reading novels by Stephen King, Robin Cook, and Dean Koontz. Now, I like a variety of genres, ranging from historical fiction to biographies and memoirs to chick-lit.

8. If procrastination was an Olympic event, I would have been a gold medalist. I always procrastinated on assignments in elementary school, high school, and college. There's nothing like staying up all night typing up a 15-20 page English paper. I've gotten better with it as I've gotten older.

There Is No Such Thing as a Stupid Question or Is There?

2007-06-21T14:00:00.001-05:00

I hear that the only stupid questions is one that isn't asked but a conversation I was a part of recently might challenge that assumption. The topic for discussion was kosher establishments in New York, a friend of mine was talking about the variety of kosher places in Flatbush and was waxing poetic on how wonderful it is that there's a kosher Dunkin Donuts. Someone asks "What's it called?" My friend thinks it's a joke and responds "Krispy Kreme"..this person asks again "What's the name of the place?"

It got me thinking about other potentially stupid questions, such as

1. When did the war of 1812 happen?

2. How long was the 100-year war?

3. Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?

4. What color is the White House?

5. Where is the 47th St. Photo Shop?

Is It 5:00 Yet?

2007-06-21T13:59:00.000-05:00

I've been asking this since 11 AM.

Guess Who's An Aunt Again?!?!

2007-06-13T20:48:00.000-05:00

Now I have two adorable nephews...my brother and sister-in-law had a beautiful baby boy very early this morning. The baby is the cutest little peanut, words cannot describe how thrilled I am.

Rooftop Bar Tour 2007

2007-06-11T15:08:00.000-05:00

Memorial Day weekend, I went to Sutton Place. The bar is okay, just a little too crowded and noisy for my taste. I have been wanting to go to a cool rooftop bar for a long time and my brother's birthday/end of residency party last night provided the perfect opportunity.

The party was at Me'Bar, on the top floor of the La Quinta Inn on 32nd St., right in the middle of Koreatown. The vibe there was laid back, seating was decent (benches with comfortable pillows), and drinks were good (I had a peach cosmo). The litmus test would be if you would want to go back again and I would like to go back.

Random Thoughts - Friday edition

2007-06-08T08:44:00.000-05:00

On my walk to work, I saw a man rollerblading on the street. He was wearing wrist guards, elbow pads, and knee pads but no helmet. That strikes me as incredibly dumb. What good would all those other pads do if you hurt your head?

June is the Busiest Month

2007-06-07T11:40:00.000-05:00

If May was the happiest month, I am proclaiming June to be the busiest month, even though we are not even a week into June.

1. My full time job has been insanely busy lately, this week even more so. A few months ago, I was handed some new responsibilities in another part of our organization and there is a ton of things to do. Just when I think I can take a breather, there are things that always come up, phone calls to be made, budgets and reports that need to be edited, emails to be sent. Previously I complained that the days go by too slowly. I don't have that problem anymore. Also, our organization has been going through some big changes of the interesting kind. I'm sorry I can't be more specific.

2. There are lots of celebrations going on in my family this month, my nephew's birthday party, my older brother's birthday/end of residency party, and my youngest brother's high school graduation.

3. For the past few months, I've renewed a friendship with one of my roommates from seminary and through her a couple of new friendships have started. I've been invited to lots of Shabbas meals lately, my parents don't have to worry about my eating habits : ) I've been to a couple interesting lectures lately, and am learning about the laws of speech over the phone with a friend everyday (or at least trying to). I am making a point of going to more lectures lately, reason being...

4. I get some time off from my part time job in the summer. It means more time for me, more time for socializing, hanging out, anything I want.

5. 2x a week, I've been taking dance classes at a cool studio very close to Fairways. No ballet classes for me, I've been taking jazz, belly dancing, even hip hop occasionally. My friend and I were talking about how we would like to be students at this dance studio full time, if only for a day.

6. My friend emailed me lists of free events in the city. This is why I love summer in the city, you can see movies, go dancing, listen to the opera for free.

Guess Who Likes Sushi After All?

2007-06-07T09:34:00.001-05:00

One of the things that I dislike almost more than anything in the world is sushi. I rate sushi slightly above traffic jams, going to the dentist, and the music of Kenny G and Michael Bolton. I've been told that sushi is an acquired taste but I find that hard to believe. I never understood the popularity of sushi, who would voluntarily eat raw fish? Family and friends have introduced me to sushi numerous times with minimal success, until last night.

A special someone was in the mood for sushi : ) I just got out of a 90 minute dance class and I was starving. That definitely played a role in my decision; if someone handed me monkey brains, I probably would have eaten that too. We went to a restaurant in the neighborhood. Even though the service wasn't good, the food was worth the wait. I had tuna tataki (?), I enjoyed the dish immensely, especially when paired with a slice of avocado. I've had salmon rolls in the past, this time I had one and I wasn't too thrilled with it. I was content to stick with the cucumber and avocado rolls and veggie tempura. I also was introduced to what looked like scrambled eggs on top of rice, I know there is a name for that dish and I just can't seem to remember it. Overall it was a very enjoyable experience and I would willingly go out for sushi again.

Go See Knocked Up

2007-06-03T11:38:00.000-05:00

Seriously, the most awesome movie ever....this is a movie to sit in the front rows for. It's the kind of movie you can see over and over and discover new lines to laugh at. So stop reading this, go to the nearest movie theatre and see this film now!!

Absolutely Ridiculous

2007-06-03T11:37:00.001-05:00

Sign in Tastee Delight in my neighborhood last night:

No $20 bills, no credit or debit cards accepted.

The hottest night of the year to date, on a Saturday night to boot, it's safe to say this Tastee Delight has lost a customer or two.

May is The Happiest Month

2007-05-29T12:48:00.000-05:00

At least it is for me. Yes, I've been working real hard lately but I've also been involved in lots of play. There are moments of darkness and lightness in life and this whole month has been filled with lots of light. I hope the next month brings more of the same : ) I wish all my readers more moments of light than darkness.

One Out of Two Ain't Bad

2007-05-17T09:03:00.000-05:00

Almost 1 1/2 - 2 months ago, I predicted a Melinda/Blake final. Instead we get a Jordin/Blake final. Even though Blake sometimes reminds me of a Hobbit, I still want him to win. We have enough Beyonce wannabes out there.

I'm So Tired

2007-05-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

I could slide out of my seat.

I am too exhausted to blog.

Lessons Learned from a Saturday Night

2007-05-06T19:55:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went to a cool bar downtown called Pravda. If you like vodka, then Pravda is your place:

1. You absolutely cannot have a conversation on the phone at Pravda, it is dark, noisy, and you have to walk downstairs in order to come in the place.

2. It is possible to fit 7-8 people at a 4 person table, you will just block the path of the waiters.

3. Do not order a mojito at Pravda unless you like your mojito with alot of pulp, yuck! You are better off drinking a Bohemian.

4. It is an exercise in futility to get a cab on Houston St. in the middle of the night.

5. When someone is babbling incoherently in the middle of the block drunk of his/her butt, it is best to not say anything, don't even think about laughing or smirking (especially if you think the person is a she-male)

* Shomer Negia Theme Songs

2007-05-04T08:58:00.000-05:00

There's a woman that is very well-known in my community, she teaches womens' classes every few months and has quite a following. Her classes focus on strategies for dating for marriage. She talks alot about why it's good to be shomer negia and talks about it in a way that is very refreshing and humorous.

I was thinking that all successful marketing campaigns have a catchy slogan or theme song. What would be a possible good theme song for a shomer negia campaign? That proved to be challenging at first; most love songs do not encourage waiting to get physical. I guess that eliminates "Let's Get It On".

Watching VH1 Classics this week gave me some inspiration. There was this song that came out around 1987, the song was called "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart. Even though the video is just about the gayest thing you've ever seen in your life, most of the lyrics are pretty cool and do pertain to shomer negia (we'll just omit the lyrics where he says we can dance and party all night and drink some cherry wine). I would post the video for your viewing pleasure but YouTube is being a real pain in the you-know-what.

* you can't touch anyone of the opposite sex (excluding close family membes) until marriage.

My Favorite Deep Thought

2007-05-03T08:51:00.000-05:00

Back in the days when Saturday Night Live was worth watching, I loved hearing 'Deep Thoughts' by Jack Handey. Here's a personal favorite (can't promise it's word for word accurate):

A little kid asks his mom "Why is it raining?" His mom tells him "Because G-d is crying." The kid asks "Why is G-d crying?". His mom replies "Probably because of something you did."

I Remember When....

2007-05-03T08:42:00.000-05:00

I used to say Cannes Film Festival as "Cans Film Festival".

News Flash: You Have To Think Before You Speak

2007-04-29T10:30:00.000-05:00

Now that Imus-gate is just about over, I can sort out my thoughts about this whole situation. Being a Rutgers alum, I will not pretend to be objective in my analysis.

When I learned that Don Imus was fired, I thought to myself "he didn't get fired just for that Rutgers comment". He has made a career of saying insensitive things about people. It is inevitable that one day his time would run out. The sad thing is I mostly knew of him for his shocking remarks. I had no idea that he and his wife ran a summer camp for kids with cancer. I hope he will take more care with his words in the future so that the good things he does stand out more than the bad.

This should provide ample warning for all of us concerning our speech; even celebrities have to pay the consequences for their actions. In his case, his punishment was aired in public. For non-celebrities, we face our punishment in private but nevertheless our actions come back to haunt us if we're not careful.

On a better note, I admire how the Rutgers womens' basketball team handled the situation. I don't think I would have been so mature if I had to handle this kind of situation as an 18-20 year old.

I'm Sorry But....

2007-04-27T09:59:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or is the art of apologizing a lost art? Before Passover, I read a fascinating article on how people seemingly don't know how to apologize (I would link you to the article if I knew where it was located). I have also had some interesting personal conversations concerning this topic.

Apologizing is a part of several sad love songs; ever listen to "Hard for Me To Say I'm Sorry" or "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word"? (bonus points if you know who sings these songs). As we get older, we come up with more excuses and rationalizations for our actions and it just seems easier to preface an apology with these following statements "I wasn't feeling well", "I was cranky/tired/grouchy/angry/" or some variation of the above statement. My favorite is when people utter a non-apology "I'm sorry that what I said made you feel bad", or when you tell someone that something they said made you feel uncomfortable and the response is "I accept that".

Looking back, I know I've been guilty of saying more than a few non-apologies to family, friends, co-workers. Why is it so hard to simply say "I'm sorry"? That question is pretty simple, you humble yourself when you apologize, you admit that you messed up and surprise, you are not perfect.

The process of teshuva provides some great answers. You first have to admit that you messed up; if you're not genuinely sorry for what you did then you can't move on. Afterwards, you need to convey that message across to the injured party/parties. The next step is the most important work of all, do some self-introspection and think of ways you can handle the situation better next time. For example, let's say you lost your temper with a friend, think of ways you can avoid the situation; maybe avoid talking about the topic that angered you in the first place, counting to 10, taking a walk when you feel the first tinge of anger. The real test comes when you are in the same situation again and you act in a better way.

This is my challenge: next time you are in a situation when you do something that offends someone, apologize sincerely. Leave your excuses behind, just simply say "I'm sorry". Let's re-learn the art of apologizing : )

The Roller Coaster of Life

2007-04-20T08:37:00.000-05:00

This week has definitely had its highlights and low points. The beginning of the week was all dreary and now it is sunny and beautiful. It mirrors how I felt at the beginning of the week (see my last post) and how I feel now. Things are most definitely looking up, it's not even the circumstances that have changed. It's all attitude. Given current events, I feel more blessed than ever.

Over the past two days, I have read all about the victims of the Virginia Tech shooting, all at different stages of life, some just starting at college with their whole future ahead of them, others set to graduate and start their post-college lives, established professors making their marks in various fields. The more I read, the angrier I got at the shooter. He not only killed 32 people but changed forever the lives of their families and friends. I also feel sorry for the shooter's family; how horrible it must be to live with the knowledge that your son is a murderer. I do hope some good comes of this, re-evaluation of campus security, the way college campuses deal with students who are mentally ill, something does need to change.

Time to get back to work, it's me, my boss, and 1 other person in the office today. It feels like a ghost-town today. There are a couple posts percolating in the back of my head which I hope will make it online. I wish Shabbat were here already.....

Request Denied

2007-04-16T15:05:00.000-05:00

I prayed to G-d for something that I really wanted to go my way; my prayer was answered, but not in the way I wanted it to be. I'm really not very happy with G-d right now : (

Procrastination Technique #1

2007-04-15T12:43:00.000-05:00

Today, I have found a wonderful procrastination technique for putting off doing my taxes. I've been watching clips of "The Charlotte Church Show" on YouTube. At the end of her show, Ms. Church has a musical guest sing either a cover song or their own song and she sings with them.

Last week, I saw a clip of her singing "9 To 5" with Fergie and on You Tube, there are a whole bunch of clips of Charlotte Church singing with other artists. You should really check them out, favorite clips of mine are the Fergie clip I mentioned previously, Brand New Heavies singing "7 Nation Army", Amy Winehouse singing "Beat It", and Nelly Furtado singing "Crazy".

Bye-Bye Legs

2007-04-12T09:13:00.000-05:00

I thought that either Phil or Haley will leave American Idol and for once, I was right. I thought Haley would have been gone 2 weeks ago but "The Long Legs that Could" lasted longer than I thought she would. I managed to catch Sanjaya's performace and horror of horrors, I thought it kinda didn't suck. He was the only person that did a song in Spanish, everyone else sang songs that I thought are overplayed and lame. I thought I stumbled into an edition of "Songs that Suck". How very disappointing this season is!

Back to Reality

2007-04-12T09:02:00.000-05:00

Passover 2007 (or 5767 depending on what calendar you go by) is over and I am very happy about that. I was getting very sick of matzah by the end of the holiday.

The last two days were a blur of good food and great conversation with old and new friends. One discussion I remember in particular was talking about faith vs. trust. I went to services at the Chabad house in my neighborhood and the rabbi talked about the parting of the Red Sea, specificially the reactions of the Jewish people. I apologize if I get parts of the story mixed up. Some of the people were scared and panicked, they wanted to go back to Egypt even though they were slaves there and were treated horribly. Others prayed to G-d with all their heart and soul; G-d told Moses that the Jewish people should not be afraid, they should just go forward and G-d will take care of the rest.

With the rabbi's words in mind, my friend brought up the question of whether it is better to have faith or trust in G-d. I was puzzled by this question; initially I thought they were the same thing. A woman at our table brought up a small but interesting distinction between faith and trust; she opined that if you have faith in G-d you believe that things will be okay, if you have trust in G-d, you believe that things are already okay. I really liked her answer so with that in mind, I bless all my readers with having trust in G-d.

Out of the Mouth of Kids

2007-04-08T15:01:00.000-05:00

For the second seder, I went to my rabbi's home. His brother was in from Philly and he brought his family too. A little background; my rabbi has 7 kids and his brother has 6 kids. Imagine a house full of kids running around all night. They had more energy than I did. It was getting late (1 AM) and I was sitting in the living room with a few of the older girls (around 12-14).

Girl #1: We wanted to ask you this all night, how old are you?
Me: I graduated from college __ years ago, you figure it out.
Girl #2: So you're ___?
After a few guesses....
Me: Yes, I'm 31.
Girl #2: 31 isn't too old, you can still get married.
Me: Okay, so what age is too old to get married?
Girl #2: I don't know, maybe 45.

Chag Sameach

2007-04-02T15:26:00.000-05:00

To all my Jewish readers, I wish you a happy and healthy Pesach. To all my non-Jewish readers, have a wonderful week.

I ate some cereal, Devil Dogs, and a croissant this morning. The deadline for eating chametz was 10:52 AM and you better believe I took advantage of them. Bring on the matzah : )

A Passover Post

2007-04-01T11:40:00.000-05:00

Last week, I promised some serious posts and I will deliver. In addition to taking dance classes around the city, I've been to a couple of good lectures as well.

The first one I went to was almost 2 weeks ago on the West side. Holly Pavlov (dean of She'arim) gave a womens lecture about inspiration. We all get inspired and inevitably we lose that spark and we just go through the motions in life. There were some great ideas as to how to live inspired lives and the best thing is that we can easily implement these ideas in our own lives.

The first point mentioned was that if we are having trouble keeping a mitzvah or trying to take on a mitzvah, then do it for a flash. Think of a flash of lightning, at least for that moment you did the mitzvah. The second point was that our potential is endless, there is no limit to doing good deeds. Rebbitizin Pavlov also equated prayer as the breath of the world, which I liked quite a bit. I still find praying a little weird, I feel like I'm talking to myself instead of talking to G-d. That's something I have to work on. There are moments of lightness and darkness, you can't have one without the other. The last two pieces of advice were to make your life exciting in whatever way you can, think of every little good thing you do as exciting, whether it be smiling at a stranger, opening a door for someone, etc. Last but not least, she mentioned the importance of being humble and grateful, no room for arrogance. I enjoyed the lecture a bit, it was just what I needed to hear at that time.

This past Shabbas, I went to a dinner at my synagogue and heard a wonderful lecture on psychological and jewish perspectives on happiness. Due to the late hour the speech started, only 25% of the crowd showed up but we were treated to a great lecture. The speaker is a psychology professor at the Yeshival University Graduate School. A 30-minute speech felt like 5-10 minutes. The speaker mentioned a few situations in which someone found happiness, situations in which you wouldn't think that possible, i.e. a father finding out his son has cancer, 10 days later in synagogue for Yom Kippur he feels a wave of happiness; a young woman dying of a long illness finds happiness in her last moments of life looking at the sky and trees outside her window. He talks about the roots of the word happiness, hap (by chance, haphazard).Then, he mentioned a man who is making a ton of money yet is not happy because his co-worker is making more money. Yet, this same person could be happy making $40/month in Nepal living in a shack with no electricity. Basically, real happiness comes with connection and purpose, connection with your community, your family, and G-d. Again, it's something everyone knows but we all forget at one point.

I mentioned previously that I signed up for a lecture series over the phone with a rabbi from Israel and have learned about the deeper meaning of Passover. Why do we clean our houses from top to bottom? When we clean our houses for Passover, we are really cleaning our souls. We search our homes for chametz (fermented wheat, rye oats, spelt, barley), we search ourselves for any aspect of our personalities that need improvement, that are no good for us and need to be thrown out. Once we identify our yeud (purpose) and tikkun (what we need to fix in ourselves), we spend the next 7 weeks working to fix what needs to be fixed in ourselves so we can live up to our potential. It made the cleaning this year more bearable for me, also I have a small apartment so I really did not have it too bad : )

Time for me to get my laundry, I'm so grateful to have laundry facilities in my apartment so I don't have to shlep my laundry to the laundromat.

What The World Needs Now is Sanjaya!?!?!

2007-03-29T08:59:00.000-05:00

Sanjaya Malakar has been in the news alot lately, in my case he is like an annoying song that you just can't get out of your head no matter how hard you try; the past week I've spent almost every day watching various clips of Sanjaya and other funny clips making fun of Sanjaya. Favorite clips of mine are the SNL skit this past week with Andy Samberg making fun of Sanjaya on Weekend Update, it is the funniest thing SNL has put out in years, seriously. DListed highlighted a funny little parody of Sanjaya with a funny Ballywood-like song about how the judges dislike Sanjaya but America thinks he's great. Also, "The Scoop" has a funny little skit called "House of Sanjaya", which is also very funny.

Last night's episode of AI was okay, like I said earlier I think the show has gone downhill this season. The judges should be kicking themselves over the choices they've made. My favorite performances this week were Blake, Jordin, Gina, and Lakisha. I just learned today that Chris Sligh was voted off, can't say I'm too surprised. He has been on a slump lately and anyway, I can't wait to see how Sanjaya will wear his hair next week.

Spring is Here : )

2007-03-22T12:40:00.000-05:00

Another week seems to go by so fast. The past few days have been a whirlwind of fun activities and Pesach preparations.

My mom's birthday brunch on Sunday was wonderful. It was the immediate family and some close family friends. We went to a beautiful restaurant at the Grounds for Sculpture, a beautiful park in Hamilton, NJ. The restaurant has many side rooms with beautiful paintings and a few sculptures to look at. Unfortunately (for me), the restaurant isn't kosher so I kind of cheated a bit : ( I had some salad, a little bit of fruit, and the salmon dish. Dessert has always been such a weakness for me, that is my one indulgence. It's not a good day unless I have a little chocolate.

I went to an interesting lecture on Tues. night, it was a womens' lecture from Holly Pavlov, the head of Shearim, the seminary I studied at over the summer. This lecture will be referred to in a future post. This month, I signed up for a weekly lecture over the phone from a rabbi in Israel, the lectures focus on how you can use the holidays as tools for personal growth. Again, another blog post will be devoted to this.

I've also been exploring new dance classes; last night I took a jazz/funk class at a popular dance studio on the west side. It was an open class, meaning the class is appropriate for all levels. In this specific case, I have to disagree. This class is not meant for beginners. I knew when we were doing warmups that I would be in trouble, and I am not a beginner. So, we were learning a routine and I was lost from the beginning. That is not a feeling I'm used to, I normally get dance routines pretty quickly. Maybe the fact that we were dancing with hats threw me off a bit. I am not used to dancing with props and it does make learning the routine harder, at least it did for me. Looking back, I really should have just tried to learn the routine without the hat and then when I knew the routine better, I would insert the hat in. In my opinion, the hats were pretty lame but when I heard the song we were dancing to, it made sense. I will say it is a Michael Jackson song that was very popular in the late 80s...think about it, an MJ song where a hat played a prominent part in the video.

One thing the instructor said was that you needed attitude in order to do the routine well. Attitude is one thing I have in abundance so I knew that as long as I had the attitude, I would be okay. This instructor is teaching again on Sunday afternoon so I might try it out again. I think you should always give something at least two tries before you decide whether or not to quit.

On a frivolous note, this season of American Idol sucks compared to previous seasons. Thanks to You Tube, I've been watching older performances of AI and am reminded of how good other seasons were and how much this season stinks.

Sanjaya Malakar provided an unintentionally hillarious performance this week of "You Really Got Me"; after watching it 2-3 times I have to say it is funny each time. You find something new to laugh at each time. For the past 2 mornings, I've been watching his performance for a much needed dose of laughter to start off my day.

Thanks to message boards, I also watched John Steven's performance of "Crocodile Rock" from Season 3, and that is also hysterical. Ryan Starr's rendition of "You Really Got Me" and "Last Dance" are also hillarious. I don't know what is more funny, her singing or her outfits. I also got to re-watch her singing "Frim Fram Sauce", when she was on Surreal Life she was painting herself as a rocker and I was thinking "Rockers don't sing 'Frim Fram Sauce'...there was this one verse how she's singing about wanting Frim Fram Sauce with blah blah blah on the side, if anyone can fill in the blank, that would be fabulous.

When you think of hillarious American Idol performances, you have to think of William Hung. After 3 years, I can tell you that I still laugh when I see him perform She Bangs. It is messed up when he gets a record deal and people who have been performing for years and are genuinely talented don't get deals but we all know that we live in an imperfect world. So this is my new morning routine, watching a few funny performances on American Idol off of You Tube. There is nothing better than starting the day off with laughter.

Snowing in March?!?!

2007-03-17T22:02:00.000-05:00

I'm typing from my little piece of NYC; after a few saturday nights out, it is nice to have a quiet night in listening to music, returning phone calls, surfing the web, and last but not least, blogging.

Lately, I've been getting back in touch with something I used to love to do when I was a kid. I used to take ballet and jazz classes. Now, I still take dance classes but replace ballet and jazz with hip hop and belly dancing. Yes, I signed up for a 6 week belly dancing class that started last week. I've been enjoying them immensely, and I think my future husband will enjoy them too : )
I also take hip hop classes once a week and look forward to trying a jazz funk class this coming week.

I had dinner with the rabbi from my synagogue. It was a great opportunity to spend time with him and his wonderful family. Lately, I've been falling in love again with my community. I go to intermediate level services in a huge modern orthodox synagogue. I've been going to these services for a year. I joke with people that I never want to graduate from these services. What is so wonderful about these services? The melodies are inspiring, you are encouraged to ask questions about the prayers, and the Torah reading is inspiring. We talk about each part of the reading. The people that go to these services are genuinely interested in Judaism, in growth, and the services have been growing steadily. It is the best feeling when you find your niche in Judaism and this is it for me : )

Lunch was awesome, I was invited by a friend in the community who I don't get to spend much time with and I met a cool group of people. I spent the rest of Shabbas there, there was much eating, talking, and laughing. I laughed so much that my stomach hurt, great times : ) Tomorrow is my mom's birthday brunch, and then another work week ahead....

All Moved In

2007-03-12T08:20:00.000-05:00

Now that I have been in my new office for a little more than 2 weeks, I have a clearer idea of the positives and negatives of this work related move.

Positives

1. I work 4 blocks closer to home which means I can sleep in an extra 5 minutes : )

2. It is easier for me to take a lunch break at the kosher bagel place in the neighborhood, it is only a 5 minute walk now from my office to the bagel place.

Negatives

1. I share an office now.

2. My office does not have a door.

3. My work space is significantly smaller than before.

4. The office temperature is significantly colder, especially when I have to walk in the halls to go to our other suites on the basement level of the building.

Sometimes You Just Have To Say What The F*ck

2007-03-11T11:37:00.000-05:00

Last night at Brandy's, I had some gay guy ask me if he could try on my glasses. Initially I thought it was a really messed up pick up line except I saw him with his boyfriend. Then, later on, some older guy asked my friend if he could try on her glasses. People are very strange...

A Friday Meme

2007-03-09T11:32:00.000-05:00

I got this meme from the Matzah and Marinara blog, anyone who wants to do this be my guest.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:45
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Breach
4. What is your favorite TV show? Alltime? Now, I love "Heroes" and "Ugly Betty". All time, I used to love watching "Family Ties" and "Wonder Years" with my family.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Honey Combs with milk
6. What is your middle name? don't have a middle name
7. What is your favorite cuisine? indian or italian
8. What foods do you dislike? mushrooms, olives, anchovies
9. What are your favorite chips? Terra Chips
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I'm digging 2 CDs right now, Robin Thicke -Evolution of Robin Thicke and Justin Timberlake - Future Sex/Love Sounds
11. What kind of car do you drive? I don't have a car now; when I did have a car, I used to drive a Mitsubishi Mirage.
12. Favorite sandwich? cheese sandwich (perferably Muenster cheese)
13. What are characteristics you can't stand? I hate when people are extremely judgmental and narrow minded, impatience and lack of diplomacy are pretty high up there as well.
14. What are your favorite clothes? Casual wear: blue jeans and a white T-shirt; Shabbat and Holidays: a black suit that I bought in Boro Park, gray pencil skirt from H&M paired with any colorful shirt I have (red, blue, pink); winter clothes: pink turtleneck from the Gap, long gray knit skirt; summer clothes: variety of sundresses that are not tznius (modest), red bikini with red sarong over it (there's a story behind how I got the bikini and sarong); can you tell I love clothes? : )
15. If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would it be? Italy or Spain
16. Favorite brand of clothing? don't really have one; like to shop at consignment stores in my 'hood
17. Where would you want to retire? either Herzliya, Israel, somewhere in Florida, or San Diego
18. Favorite time of day? evening
19. Where were you born? Israel
20. Where have you lived? Israel (very briefly, blink and you miss it brief), Maryland, New Jersey, and New York
21. What is your favorite sport to watch? NBA, tennis, soccer, figure skating (particularly Brian Boitano, Elvis Stojko, Scott Hamilton, Surya Bonaly and her crazy back flips)
22. Coke or Pepsi? Coke
23. Beavers or ducks? Ducks, although not so much when you're driving and a group of them cross the street and you have to wait for what seems like an eternity
24. Are you a morning person or a night owl? been known to stay out all night on occasion (like not getting home until 2, 3, even 4 in the morning)
25. Pedicure or manicure? love both, such a great way to pamper yourself
26. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? nothing comes to mind
27. What did you want to be when you were little? an entertainer (singer, dancer, actor)
28. What is your best childhood memory? all the day trips and vacations I went on with my family (New York, cherry blossoms in DC, etc)
29. Piercing? None
30. Ever been to Africa? No
31. Ever been toilet papering? no
32. Been in a car accident? yes, 2 (I was driving in both accidents but no one was hurt, thank G-d)
33. Favorite day of the week? Saturday (cause it's Shabbas and I don't have to rush from place to place like I usually do)
34. Favorite restaurant? non-kosher - Olive Garden, Ruby Tuesdays (great salad bar); kosher places: Nargila Grill (I feel like I'm back in Israel everytime I eat there) and U Cafe (great dairy cafe, the owner is such a good guy and the wait staff is extremely nice)
35. Favorite flower? stargazer lilies and orchids
36. Favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry's Phish Food, Haagen Daaz Mayan Chocolate
37. Favorite fast food restaurant? used to love McDonalds french fries and chicken nuggets
38. How many times did you fail your driver's test? passed the first time
39. From whom did you get your last e-mail? one of my Aish friends
40. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Tough one; either Macy's or Bloomingdales
41. Bedtime? 11:30
42. Last person you went to dinner with? someone I really like :)
43. What are you listening to right now? phones ringing, pieces of conversation from co-workers
44. What is your favorite color? purple, blue, gray
45. How many tattoos do you have? none
46. Favorite magazines? Glamour and People (for times when I don't want to be intellecutally stimulated), Newsweek, NY Times magazine (for times when I want to be intellectually stimulated)

Watching American Idol aka Wading in a Sea of Suck

2007-03-07T09:13:00.000-05:00

American Idol is pretty disappointing so far, the most memorable moments are not the actual singing (with the exception of Melinda and Lakisha) but the Antonella Barba pictures and Sanjaya's hair.

Last night was so mediocre, Blake started off the show nicely, I have not heard that 311 song in years, it brought me back to college days. I will boldly predict that he will win this season of American Idol. However, I am not one to bet on. I remember last year I predicted that Chris Daughtry and Mandisa will be the final two contestants. I was 0 for 2 on that one.

There were some interesting song choices last night, particularly Phil Stacy singing a Lee Ann Rimes song. I remember a few years back when Trenyce sang that song and just killed it. Phil hit some pretty rank notes, that seems to be a bad habit of his. Most likely, he will make the final 12 and you will have to hear him hit more rank notes.

In previous years, there was a sense of excitement over who would make it in the final 12 and I loved predicting who would blossom over the course of the competition and who would wilt. Now, with the exception of Blake, Melinda, Lakisha, Chris S. and Chris R. I don't really give a crap. I'm not as invested in the singers as I was in previous years. It's a combination of a group of not so good contestants and me having a very busy life lately. If Sanjaya and/or Antonella make it in the final 12, you bet I will be calling and calling for every other contestant in that show. I do not want a replay of Jasmine Trias and John Stevens outlasting far worthier contestants.

Purim 2007 aka Party All Night Long

2007-03-06T09:35:00.000-05:00

Purim 2007 most definitely made up for Purim 2006. Last year, I had to work my part time job the night of Purim and had to work the following day so I didn't dress up in costume and didn't go party-hopping. This year was a different story.

This year, I got a long purple wig which I wore with an all black outfit. It was awesome to see how some people really dressed up with masks, wigs, even costumes. I started off at KJ for the Megilla reading, then went to the West Side with a few people for more parties. We started off at The Parlour, we went to the downstairs section where it very quickly got crowded and uncomfortable. There was hip hop music playing, the vibe was very mellow and friendly. We went over to BJ where there was a disco dance party. It was very disconcerting at first to hear loud dance music in a synagogue, but the party was quite awesome. I did see someone dressed as a pregnant nun, that was pretty traumatic. The last party of the night was at Carlebach Shul, there was a band and plenty of food. The music reminded me of a Grateful Dead concert, all the songs seem to be one endless jam and you don't know where it starts or ends. I think you have to be stoned to even enjoy this music, or at least I would have to be since I didn't enjoy the music while sober.

After little sleep, I made a Shaloch Manos (little packages of food ready to eat, you give them to friends and family, really all about unity of the Jewish people) delivery, then spent a little time with my parents, who, much to my suprise, were in the city. KJ had a little Purim party in a bar in Midtown East, I got to hear the Megilla again and did some more shmoozing. I got a call from my friend in Brooklyn inviting me to a Purim Seudah (meal). After initially rejecting the idea of going all the way to Brooklyn, I decided to overcome my urge to be a lazy bum and go to Brooklyn. The meal was in Kensington, the host family really put me at ease. Imagine going into a new place and seeing a bunch of people you don't know, thankfully the host came up to me and said "Oh, you must be ______'s friend, I'm _____,..." My friends came in shortly after me and we ate lots of food, exchanged jokes, heard the host talk about insights from Purim. I will admit that I zoned out during the host's talks, my lack of sleep was quickly catching up with me : ) After the wild partying that I did last night, it was a welcome change of pace to go to a nice Purim meal in Brooklyn and to get to talk with new friends. Then, we visited my friend's family in Boro Park. I didn't get home until 11 PM and got to work a little late the next day.
To all who celebrated Purim, hope you had a wonderful holiday : )

Pre-Purim fun

2007-03-02T09:13:00.000-05:00

We end the week almost like we started it, instead of snow we get lots of rain. There have been lots of fun events to go to in the days leading up to Purim. I went to one of those fun events Tuesday night. The event was at the Kaye Playhouse in Hunter College, it was a fun play about a group of men wanting to stage a Purim shpiel (a play that's mean to be humorous). The show was staged by a Yiddish theatre company. The best part was that it was free. I was plesantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the play, it was appropriate for kids and adults. Going to this play was a nice antidote for hearing about all the crap going on with Britney, Anna Nicole, etc.

I watched a full episode of American Idol on Wednesday night, hearing some of the judges' comments reminded me of a discussion I had with my parents several years ago. I noticed that when a few of the female contestants had bad performances, Paula and/or Randy started off by telling these women that they looked beautiful. At my first job out of college, we had 2 days of workshops for staff only before the school year began. One of these workshops was on how to give constructive feedback. We learned that the criticism has to be sandwiched between a positive statements in the beginning and end. I told my parents this and they laughed. The Israeli way is to be very blunt, sometimes to the point of rudeness (or at least I've been told). We came up with a rule that for every bad thing you say about someone in the house, you have to say 3 nice things about that same person. My dad asked me if he could say "You look nice today" as one of the 3 nice things. Apparently, Randy and Paula believe very strongly in telling contestants who can't sing well that they look nice today.

I watched parts of the last half of American Idol last night. I was not surprised when Alaina and Nick were voted off but was kind of pissed that AJ was voted off. I haven't been that pissed about someone leaving this early in the competition since Judd Harris left. Somehow I think we'll be seeing AJ again, most likely in some happy broadway show. I'm not happy that Antonella is still in the competition, yes she is representing for Jersey but she is doing a real crappy job of it. I cringed throughout her performance (if that's what you want to call it) on Wed., if she makes it into the final 12 over more talented people, I will be very unhappy. I've already resigned myself to Sanjaya being in the final 12, he's cute and has better hair than me. I might actually have to vote next week for women who I feel could be in danger and right now I think that's Jordin, Gina, and/or Stephanie. I also learned that singing "Feeling Good" is a ticket back home and that Kellie Pickler is still as annoying as ever but she has great taste in shoes.

Happy 100th post

2007-02-26T09:39:00.000-05:00

Last week has been a very busy one for me. I didn't have to work my part time job last week but there was plenty going on to keep me busy.

Feb. 18 night - went to a party on the upper west side with friends followed by hanging out at Brandy's

Feb. 19 - went to the Jewish Museum for the afternoon, followed by spending time with friends, learning at Aish, then saw "Borat" that night

Feb. 20 - went to work, more packing for our move; saw the first 30 minutes of American Idol and realized that it's a big fat bore and I am better off not watching until they get to the final 12 contestants, saw "Breach" later that night

Feb. 21 - more packing at work, went to a womens' class at my synagogue, bumped into my roommate from Shearim who recently moved to New York from Florida

Feb. 22 - moving day at work, all moved in by the afternoon; dinner with my chavrusa (learning partner) at Estihana

Feb. 23 - unpacking at work, went to a Shabbat dinner with a friend

Feb. 24 - hung out with friends, went to the Ravayah Sat. night

Feb. 25- brunch at Le Marais, hip hop dance class in the afternoon followed by wine tasting at the JCC, I found a new wine that I absolutely love, Golan Muscato

Rules of Karaoke

2007-02-18T10:46:00.000-05:00

This post is dedicated to a woman who was at the karaoke party I attended last weekend. She told me that this was her 2nd time doing karaoke, and I have to say she did a very fine job.

1. Make sure you at least know the chorus of the song you are about to sing. The first time to learn a song is not when you're singing a song in front of strangers.

2. Know your alcohol limit. I understand that singing in front of a large group of people is intimidating, a little alcohol can loosen you up a bit and that's a good thing. However, drinking to the point of slurring your words is not recommended.

3. Last but not least, have fun! This is your chance to let your personality shine. Some of us can't carry a tune and when it comes to karaoke, it doesn't matter. Dance around a little bit, make funny faces, improv a bit, it's all good. If you're not having fun up there, then we won't have fun watching you.

A Snowy Night of Learning

2007-02-15T14:11:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week, I went to the Aish center for a night of learning in the merit of my friend, E., who I blogged about last month. Here's a little refresher: We learned at Aish several years back, he moved to Israel almost 3 years ago, recently got married, and was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

The first mini-lecture was on teshuva (repentance), the most interesting part of the lecture for me was hearing how the need for teshuva goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. When G-d asked Adam if he ate from the tree of good and evil, he basically said it was Eve's fault. When Eve was asked why she ate from the tree, she blamed the snake. The urge to shift responsibility to someone or something else when we make a mistake seems to be ingrained. We have to fight very hard to go against that nature and to own our errors and better yet, to take a different, better course of action when we are confronted with the urge to make that same mistake again.

The next lecture was on chesed (kindness). Most of the points made were obvious but important to hear. It seems the things we take for granted are the ones we easily forget about. Showing kindness to all Jews is paramount but very easy to forget. It is easy to focus on the external trappings of Judaism but harder to focus on getting to know the person's neshama (soul). When we treat each other badly, we suffer the consequences.

The last lecture focused on the mitzvah of bikur cholim (visiting the sick). The most important point I took from this lecture was the bikur cholim is about the person who is ill, it is not about you! Visit when it is convenient for the person who is ill, not for you. If they want to talk, let them. If they don't want to talk, that's okay too. Ask what needs to be done (cleaning, buying magazines, getting food).

I had the chance to see some people who I haven't seen in years. I wish we had a better reason to meet but I hope the next time we all get together like this is for a happy occasion. If anyone wants to say a prayer on behalf of my friend, E., please ask me in the Comments section and I'll be happy to give you his Hebrew name.

Weekend Review

2007-02-11T10:24:00.000-05:00

Another good weekend is coming and going. I spent Shabbat with my family in good ole' New Jersey; everytime I come home, I am amazed at the new stores that pop up on the highway. There always seems to be more traffic too : (

Whenever I stay with my family over Shabbat, I go to a small Orthodox synagogue within walking distance. I am by far the youngest person whenever I go this synagogue, with the exception of families with young kids. Most of the congregants are senior citizens; there is a senior citizens' development within walking distance.

We had a guest rabbi come in from Monsey. He is the founder of www.theshmuz.com. I was honored to eat lunch with him and his family. I had the greatest time playing games with a few of his daughters at the table, not only are his daughters kind but they are so fun-loving and spirited.

Last night, I went to a karaoke party at a place in midtown. I got to learn the lyrics of "My Humps", suffice it to say that I didn't sing the whole song as much as I laughed thru the song. I was told that I was entertaining so I guess that's a good thing. I always have such a fun time when I do karaoke and I guess that came thru.

Plans for today are to just chill out and take it easy : )

Notes on a Scandal

2007-02-07T13:00:00.000-05:00

After some last minute deliberation, we decided to save 'Dreamgirls' for another time and to check out 'NOAS'. I did not know very much about this movie coming into it and that was probably for the better. If I did know what the movie was really about, I would have chosen not to see it and that would have been a shame because NOAS is a very well-made movie about very uncomfortable subject matter. There were some amazing performances from Cate Blanchett and Dame Judi Dench. I want to highlight Judi Dench's performance, I normally think of her as this very dignified, proper lady and she really went opposite that to play this creepy, delusional woman. Some of her scenes were unintentionally funny, if you were to judge by the audience's reaction.

I have alot of movie watching to do between now and February 25 (Academy Awards), I want to watch as many of the nominated performances as I can. We'll see if that happens....

Warning: Extremely Cranky Woman Approaching

2007-02-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am in a very cranky mood today. Thankfully, these moods come few and far between but when they do, you better watch out. It's best to just give me some space. The worst part is it's only Tuesday!

There is something that might get me out of this cranky mood. I'm going to the movies with friends tonight, specifically I'm going to one of my favorite movie theatres in the city, the Angelika Film Center. I will tell you about the movie tomorrow, let's just say that there are some Oscar nominated performances in this film : )

Superbowl Sunday

2007-02-04T17:05:00.000-05:00

I will be one of the few people who will go out of their way to not watch the Superbowl. Yes, I will try to catch the halftime show but I am not a football fan. I do not watch any football during the regular season so why would I watch now? I don't care about any of the teams involved, why should I pretend to?

I had a wonderful Shabbas with people in my synagogue; I was invited to a lunch last minute and ended up spending the afternoon with old and new friends. In an interesting game of Jewish geography, one of the guests at the Shabbos table is best friends with one of my roommates from my time at She'arim (a womens seminary in Jerusalem) this past summer.

By the time I got back, I had to rush to get ready for a Tu B'Shevat seder on the west side. The seder had a very hippie/new age feel to it. It is illuminating to see how Jews connect to Judaism, you can really learn something from everyone. After that, I went to a synagogue in the neighborhood to see a concert, the music was beautiful and surroundings. The venue was absolutely breathtaking, what made it even better was the company : )

Today, I spent some time with my family then went shopping at Ann Taylor Loft and Banana Republic, very nice stuff but I'm not paying nearly $70 for a skirt. I'm very picky like that.

So what will I be doing instead of watching the Superbowl? Well, due to my part time job, I don't get to see Heroes and Ugly Betty when they air and I haven't seen the newest episodes yet. I love the fact that I can see re-runs online without all the commercials, maybe I should just suck it up and get DVR/Tivo. Let it be spring.....

Song of the Day

2007-02-02T09:58:00.000-05:00

I am very happy it's Friday and I have lots of things to look forward to over the next couple of days. While blog surfing, I found out that Shoshana of Sweet Rose and Sweet Rose Ramblings highlighted my post on Beyond BT on Wednesday.
Go to http://sweetroseramblings.blogspot.com and look under the posts for Wed. Jan 31. Thanks Shoshana.

While looking at her blog, I noticed that she puts up song lyrics that she really likes. I have done so too but not on such a consistent basis. So this is my song of the day:

Everybody Got Their Something by Nikka Costa

My face to the sky
Dreaming about just how high
I could go and I'll know
When I finally get there

Taking of my glasses
Sun pokes through my lashes
And somehow I know
There's a time for every star to shine

Everybody got their something
Everybody got their something
Make you smile like an itty bitty child

People keeping score
Say better hurry up and get yours
Cause somebody else get your spot
Before you even dropped

Seek and you shall find
Everything in my own sweet time
I'll take my chances
With what I believe is only mine

Busy holding on

So the roof don't fly
Keep you from moving on
So get it right
Turn the tide over
Like a love song
Like a butterfly
Believe if you hand it over
You'll come out all right

Everybody got their something
Everybody got their something
Make you smile like an itty bitty child

Illuminate the silly things
Shed some light on all that's wrong
Everybody need it sometime
Sometimes the only thing you got
Is what makes you feel like
You're something else altogether
You have everything don't need
Another reason to be something
I've been on a ride
And caught up in the landslide
But I'm gonna spread my wings and fly...

Everybody got their something
Everybody got their something
Make you smile like an itty bitty child

There's a time for every star
There's a time for every star...

Parsha Beshalach aka Shabbat Shira

2007-02-01T14:25:00.000-05:00

We have an action filled parsha this week. Perhaps the most well known event in Jewish history happens here, the parting of the sea. Every morning, Jews sing "The Song of The Sea" as a way of remembering the Exodus. This song is in the parsha, hence Shabbat Shira, the Shabbat of song.

The part of the parsha that speaks to me the most is when the Jews are trapped between the sea and the Egyptians "Pharaoh drew near, and the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold! the Egyptians were advancing after them. They were very frightened, and the children of Israel cried out to the Lord" (Shemot 14:10). A few verses later, we read "The Lord said to Moses, Why do you cry out to Me? Speak to the children of Israel and let them travel. And you raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea and split it, and the children of Israel shall come in the midst of the sea on dry land." (Shemot 14:15-16). We learn that in addition to prayer, we also need to take action. It is not enough to just pray to G-d for help or to just take action, we need to do both. I also want to delve deeper into "The Song of the Sea" but that is for another post.

Thoughts on Tu B'Shevat

2007-02-01T10:37:00.000-05:00

The next 'holiday' on the Jewish calendar is Tu B'Shevat, aka as the New Year for Trees, which is coming up this weekend. Around this time of year, the trees begin to bloom in Israel. You know that spring is coming, the days are getting longer, and the temperatures should be getting a little warmer (unless you live in the New York area, better yet most of the US). We eat alot of fruit, specifically fruit grown in the land of Israel.

For those of us who don't live in Israel, this holiday is one more way to connect to Israel. Even though I have family in Israel, I sometimes feel such a disconnect. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own life in the US that I don't pay as much attention as I should to what is happening in Israel. Celebrating Tu B'Shevat is one way that I can show that Israel is on my mind. I was invited to a special seder for the holiday on Saturday night. I have not been to a special seder for Tu B'Shevat in 4 years, and am eagerly looking forward to going to this seder.

Wednesday Musings

2007-01-31T09:45:00.000-05:00

We are already in the middle of the week, only 2 more days until Shabbas : )

An article of mine has been published on Beyond BT, www.beyondbt.com. I am very happy that the article has already generated some good discussion.

24 was awesome as usual, I really hope that Lennox character is next in line to get the Jack Bauer treatment. What an a-hole!! How dare he threaten Karen Hayes! I have a feeling that she will get back at him later this season and I am looking forward to that.

I don't like most of the new music that's out today but there are a few songs that have caught my attention. Favorite new songs of mine are "Smile", "Say It Right", and "The Sweet Escape". The lyrics of "Smile" are very witty, they tell the story of a woman whose boyfriend cheated on her with her friend, she was depressed for some time but her friends helped her get through it, she sees her ex boyfriend again, and she sings "When I see you cry, it makes me smile". After hearing the crap that is "Wind It Up", it is wonderful to hear 'The Sweet Escape", I loved Akon's part in the song and hearing the song makes me think of escaping to someplace where it is not freezing cold.

There is an intersting article on MSN today with this headling "Are You Better Off Single?"
Look at http://msn.match.com.

There are a couple ongoing things I want to write about on this blog, one is a writeup on the parsha of the week (every week we read a portion of the Torah aka The Bible). Another is a soap opera of sorts about dating in the city. Maybe it is time to get a little more personal....

The Ravayah

2007-01-30T13:40:00.000-05:00

Saturday night, I went with a friend to the Ravayah (www.ravayah.org). The event was organized by Rabbi David Ingber of Kehilat Romemu. The event was at a yoga studio downtown. The event had a great mix of dancing and Jewish rituals. There was a *havdalah ceremony marking the end of Shabbat. There was dancing to trance music with a twist, when you walked into the dance room, you were given a blindfold. I chose not to do the blindfolded dance but there were lots of people that did. There was a live performance followed by music from a DJ. For all those who didn't want to dance, there was a cafe area where you get some light food and beverages.

The best part of this event was meeting and talking with such a wonderful diverse group of people. Everyone I talked to had such interesting life stories, I really felt Ahavas Yisroel, love for your fellow Jew. There was no alcohol served at the event so don't attribute this feeling to booze : ) These events happen once a month so if you're in the area next time around, give it a shot.

*Havdalah - a ritual marking the end of Shabbat. You say blessings over wine, spices, and candles (www.jewfaq.org)

Renewal and Rejuvenation

2007-01-28T10:19:00.000-05:00

This Shabbas, I was back in my home shul, best known as KJ. It was great to be back, especially with words of wisdom from Rabbi Shaya Karlinsky, co-founder and Dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam/Shapell College and Midreshet Rachel College of Jewish Studies for Women.

In Parshas Bo, we learn that the first thing that the Jewish people are commanded to do is to sanctify time "H-shem said to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying "This month shall be for you the beginning of the months, it shall be for you the first of the months of the year". One wonders why this commandment was given as the first one. Why not observing Shabbat or keeping kosher? Rabbi Karlinsky explained that in Egypt, we were slaves and time was meaningless to us because we weren't in control of our time. Great, we're free but we don't know what to do with our time, how to control time. That's why the commandment of Rosh Chodesh is given to us first.

So what is Rosh Chodesh? Well, we have to go over the Jewish calendar first. Our calendar is based on the moon. Rosh Chodesh has to be proclaimed by the Rabbinic Court, two witnesses must testify that they saw the re-appearance of the moon. A 12 month year contains 354 days, we have a Jewish leap year. In the leap year, we add a 13th month 7 times every 19 years so Nissan is always in the right place. We wouldn't want to be celebrating Pesach when the weather is cold.

As we know, the moon looks different from night to night. One night, the moon appears to be nothing but a sliver, the next night, the moon comes back full force. That symbolizes the Jewish people, just when you think we have been eliminated, we have come back stronger. The Egyptian empire, the Greek empire, the Roman empire, what do they all have in common? They tried to destroy the Jews and they are extinct.

Rabbi Karlinsky likened the moon waxing and waning to the struggles of the Jewish people, communally and individually. In the winter, the days are shorter and the nights are longer and in the spring, we have shorter nights and longer days. Like the moon, we have our bright moments and our dark moments. He made a point of saying that we have our dark moments and that is to be expected. But, we will always come back renewed and stronger than before.

I really needed to hear this speech. Lately, I've been struggling with some personal stuff and have been under some stress trying to set things up for going into grad school, and also remaining in the here and now and being focused on doing my job well. This gave me some much needed strength.

A nice couple hosted a community lunch, great conversation, more wise words from Rabbi Karlinsky, singing from Jewbilation, a singing duo that re-writes popular songs and gives them a Jewish twist. I've gotten to know both of these men very well over the past year and they are such mentsches, kind, thoughtful, humorous, decent men.

Motzei Shabbas (Sat. night) I went to a party downtown called Ravayah. That will be the subject of my next post.

P.S. Some of the information I got on Rosh Chodesh was from the commentary in the Stone Edition of the Torah.

Ben vs. Noel: What Do Women Want?

2007-01-25T16:05:00.000-05:00

My mom and I loved to watch "Felicity", it was our Wednesday night ritual. The show started airing right after I graduated college and it was interesting to watch a show about college kids right after I finished that phase of life. The show was awesome in its first 2 years but sort of started going downhill in the last year and a half of its airing. I re-watched some of the show through the WE network.

For most of the show, Felicity was caught between Ben Covington and Noel Crane. Ben was the guy she had a crush on in high school (they grew up in California) and one of the reasons she went to college in New York was to be near him. Noel was the RA of her dorm and he convinced her to stay in New York when she had doubts about going to school so far away from home. Ben was the popular guy in high school, he was a jock, seemed to have alot of friends but as we get to know him, we find out he has his own secrets. Noel is the earnest, geeky cute guy, he goes out of his way for Felicity, the relationship started out as a big brother/little sister relationship but grew into romance.

Even though Felicity, Ben, and Noel dated other people at various times, the main story was always the dynamic between the three of them. Ben was not the greatest boyfriend to her, he was flaky, stood her up for dates, was withdrawn and moody at times, had issues with gambling and alcohol, kind of cheated on her, but Felicity always took him back no matter what. Ben was exciting to her, the sensitive bad boy. On the other hand, Noel was a very sweet boyfriend. Besides the whole almost hooking up with his ex-girlfriend thing, he was reliable and always looked out for her. He was a straight-laced guy, never really got in any trouble with the law.

I've always struggled with the question of how important physical attraction really is. Of course, you can't find your mate repulsive but is it really important that there should be sparks right from the beginning? Sometimes there are sparks right away but it overpowers things so much in the beginning that you don't really know who the person is until you are too involved and at that point, you are so invested in the relationship. I also know of other relationships where the couple starts out as friends and a relationship builds gradually over a long period of time. First comes respect, then comes like, followed by love (or something like that).

Personally, I have been out with both types of guys. Somehow I'm more attracted to the Ben type of guy (surprise, surprise) but lately I've been thinking 'Why not give the Noel type of guy a chance?' I might be pleasantly surprised.

I Don't Know How To Do This Anymore

2007-01-25T15:35:00.000-05:00

In the 2nd episode of 24, Jack Bauer says this line as he's watching Assad torture his former colleague and eventually kill him once he gets the information he needs.

This line also describes the way I feel about dating in NYC right now. I've always been reluctant in the past to write about my dating experiences on the blog; besides the whole loshon hara* thing, I watched as celebrities like Jennifer Lopez got raked over the coals over every hook up and break up. Even J Lo learned to keep her mouth shut about her love life.

After thinking about this, I decided that I want to write about lessons learned from certain relationships and my feelings about dating; I think I can do that without getting into too many details about specific people that I have dated, we'll see how successful I am at that.

This phase of life can seem endless; my problem isn't meeting people; I meet people at meals, through friends, in synagogue, etc. It only takes one person but why is it so hard to find the right person? Do we really make things more difficult for ourselves?

Last Shabbas, my friend talked about past relationships she was in; she was engaged previously and has been through the wringer with dating. In the past, men have told her that she was too needy and that she needed to be more independent. When she was dating the man who would become her husband, he told her "You're needy and that's all right. It's okay for you to depend on me". In the end, she didn't have to change who she was; she found someone who accepted her for who she is.

What a powerful message that is. All I can do is just be myself, such a simple thing but it's so easy to forget that when relationships don't work out. You think "If only I was less/more religous, outgoing, etc." and/or "If only he/she was less/more religious, outgoing, etc." The older you get, the harder each failed relationship can be on you. I've been dating for almost half of my life and you'd think it would get easier but it doesn't.

Since becoming more observant in Judaism, I've learned about dating in the religious world and it makes me realize that maybe I never knew how to date in the first place. I think I started dating because everyone around me was doing it and it seemed that it was the thing to do. When it comes to dating for marriage, I feel at times that I have no idea what I'm doing. It is daunting to change habits that have taken years and years to develop. That doesn't mean I'll stop trying, it just means that it'll take longer than anticipated to change the way I date from just dating for the heck of it to dating for marriage.

Loshon hara: one of the biggest sins concerning speech; saying negative things about another person. There's a whole lot more to it than that, for more info look at www.jewfaq.org.

Thursday morning reading

2007-01-25T09:17:00.000-05:00

This morning, I received a forward of a speech from Ben Stein:

SOMETHING NOT TO LAUGH ABOUT If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly. The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary

Here with at this happy time of year, a few confessions from mybeating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I ama subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don' t feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year.

It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period.I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitlyatheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat! !; Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny,it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?"(regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly
backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings,etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. TheBible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and wemight damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We saidan expert should know what he's talking about and we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about! sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discardit...no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

Deep thoughts for a Thursday morning. What are your opinions on this speech?

What Not To Do Before You Go to Sleep

2007-01-24T09:39:00.000-05:00

Last night was a relaxing night; after visiting my nephew, I went home, had dinner, did a couple chores, and caught up on the latest episodes of Heroes and Little Mosque on the Prairie. I also watched the first 3 episodes of 24 online because I didn't see those last week. That was not a good idea; the episodes were awesome but it is definitely not the thing you want to watch before you go to sleep. I was dreaming of explosive devices.

Ladies Weekend

2007-01-23T09:52:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was fabulous. For Shabbat, I stayed with a friend on the upper west side for the Shabbos Kallah of a wonderful friend. I've known J., the kallah, for almost 5 years. We learned together at Aish Hatorah and we have been through thick and thin together. It was very fitting that the Shabbos Kallah was on the west side, this is where J. started her journey towards becoming observant in Judaism and she has come full circle. Friday night, 6 of us went to a family's home for dinner. Their kids were absolutely adorable, even though they tried to lock us in the closet. Seriously, the food and conversation were fabulous, there was such good spiritual energy in that home.

We went to Shabbat services at Aish, then we went to my friend's place for lunch. It was a very leisurely lunch, a group of 10 highly intelligent, kind, beautiful women coming together for the kallah. Sat. night, my best friend came up and we stayed in and rented 'The Devil Wears Prada", fabulous film and book as well. Speaking of, congrats to Meryl Streep for her Academy Award nomination for Best Actress, she was fabulous as Miranda Priestly, couldn't even recognize her at first. She plays bitchy so well.

The wedding was on Sunday, my friends and I made it to Brooklyn (where the wedding was) in good time. Since I was in the bridal party, I needed to get there early for hair, makeup, and pictures. J. picked out an all pink outfit for me, and it was a decent outfit. I would wear the skirt and blouse separately on other occasions too. J.'s dress was fabulous, she had pink and purple flowers on the dress and it looked beautiful. She looked like a ballerina, very fitting because she loves ballet. The chuppah was beautiful, the rabbi did a wonderful job officiating, very charismatic speaker.

Then, the dancing started and we had a blast. The bride fell, the mother-in-law fell (at least according to second hand reports, I didn't see it happen) and I fell on my butt when my friend and I lost our footing while spinning around, don't ask. Whoever thinks that Orthodox Jews don't know how to party have not been to an Orthodox wedding. The food was wonderful, especially the molten lava dessert. I had chocolate ice cream on top of a warm chocolate chip brownie.

After the wedding, my best friend and I went back to my place, changed clothes, and went to visit her younger sister who is staying in a hotel in the city for work. Her younger sister has an adorable Chihuahua, normally I don't like those dogs but this one is a cutie. The room she is in is fabulous, and the company she works for is paying for the room. Awesome stuff!

24 was awesome last night, can't wait to see Heroes on nbc.com, I did read some spoilers on Inside Pulse so I do know a little of what happened. It sucks that 24 and Heroes are on at the same time but thank g-d that NBC airs their shows on their website the day after so if you missed it, you can catch up. There is not a new episode of Ugly Betty this week : (.
I've watched the first episode of Little Mosque on the Prairie, a show on Muslim life in a small town in Canada, thanks to a little site called You Tube, heard of it? LMOTP is a cute little show, very enjoyable and I can't wait to see the 2nd episode. The VH1 reality shows kind of stink, i've lost interest in Surreal Life Fame Games, and I Love New York is just ridiculous. I have caught glimpses of the show and the prevailing thought in my mind is that people will do and say just about anything to be on TV. I remember a time when there were on reality shows on TV and we were very happy with that. Let's hope the reality TV craze dies down.

Song of the Week

2007-01-18T14:08:00.000-05:00

Last week, I posted some song lyrics from Whitney Houston and I had so much fun with that so I decided that I will post song lyrics once a week.

This week's song is from Beyonce. I downloaded "B-Day" off of I Tunes and I love that album. The whole thing clocks just under 40 minutes and most of the songs are made for shaking your booty to. One of my favorite songs on there is "Irreplaceable". It's refreshing to hear a breakup song when the woman kicks the man out and she is the one in charge.

To the left,to the left
To the left,to the left
Everything you own in a box to left in the closet,yes that's my stuff.Yes if I bought it then please don't touch(don't touch)
And keep on talkin that mess that's fine but could you walk and talk at the same time and it's my name that's on that tag so go move your bags while I call you a cab.
Breakdown: Standin in the front yard,telling me I'm such a fool,talkin bout' how i'll never find a man like you.You got me twisted.
Hook: You must not know bout' me,you must not know bout' me.I could have another you in a minute,matter fact he'll be here in a minute,baby.You must not know bout me ,you must not know bout me. I'll have another you by tomorow so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' your irreplaceable.

verse 2: so go ahead and get gone.Call up that chick and see if she's home.Oops I bet you thought I didn't know.What did you think I was putting you out for? Because you was untrue. Ridin' her around in the car I bought you. Baby drop them keys. Hurry up before your taxi leaves. (Repeat Breakdown)

(Repeat Hook)
Bridge: So since I'm not your everything how about I be nothing? Nothing at all to you . baby I won't shed a tear for you. I won't lose a wink of sleep cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy
To the left,to the left To the left,to the left mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
To the left,to the left Everything you own in a box to left
To the left,to the left Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin your irreplaceable
(Repeat Hook 2xs)
END

Freehold in The News

2007-01-16T10:54:00.000-05:00

The Sunday edition of the New York Times had a touching article on two incidents that happened in Freehold recently, one weird and the other tragic (which I posted about on Friday). I would link you to the article but apparently I don't know how to link to this article without giving you a ridiculously long link. Can anyone help with that?

Hooray for Ugly Betty

2007-01-16T09:36:00.000-05:00

At the Golden Globe Awards last night, Ugly Betty had a great night. The show won for best comedy and America Ferrera won for best actress in a comedy. Here is an excerpt from AP:

Sending big stars home empty-handed, the Golden Globes gave a boost to some television newcomers on Monday, particularly America Ferrera of ABC's "Ugly Betty" and
Alec Baldwin of NBC's "30 Rock."

Teary-eyed but smiling widely, Ferrera won the award for best comic actress on TV just a few minutes after the show itself was named best comedy.

It was a true underdog's tale. Ferrera competed against four women who had all been nominated for Golden Globes in the past, including two desperate housewives. ABC had such little faith in "Ugly Betty" initially that it was scheduled for the TV graveyard of Friday nights, until the network sensed a buzz and premiered it on Thursday, where it has flourished.

Ferrera said she hears every day from girls inspired by her character, Betty Suarez, saying it "truly brings a new face to television."

Request for Prayers

2007-01-16T09:28:00.000-05:00

Recently I found out that E., a friend of mine from Aish NY, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and started chemotherapy on Sunday. E. was one of the first people I met when I started going to Shabbat dinners through Aish about 5 years ago. Not only is he an intelligent guy but he is incredibly kind, humble, and has such positive energy about him. We used to see each other at meals and Wed. night classes and socializing after those classes. He moved to Israel 2 1/2 years ago and got married about 6 months ago.

To all my Jewish readers, if you want to say tehillim for him, his Hebrew name is Elimelech David ben Chaya Bayla. May he have a speedy recovery.

A Night At Brandy's

2007-01-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went to Brandy's Piano Bar. If you're into watching people sing all sorts of stuff from show tunes to soft rock, then this is your place. Everyone sings along and it is a very friendly, laid-back place. The best thing to do is to get to Brandy's early, definitely before 10 PM so you have some chance of grabbing a small table or some seats at the bar. My friends and I were sitting in the corner of the bar; good thing was we had plenty of room to put our coats and spread out but the bad part is we were right by the door so we got a blast of cold air everytime someone came in or out.

We were hanging out with a few people, one of who was on The Apprentice. Yes, you heard right, I hung out with a former Apprentice. Funny part is I used to watch that show all the time yet I didn't realize that this person was on the show until the pianist pointed this person out. And I thought I was a celeb-a-holic....

Absolutely Heartbreaking

2007-01-14T16:01:00.000-05:00

This is my reaction to the New York Times magazine cover story. To sum up, a young man from Sierra Leone wrote of his time as a child soldier during the civil war. He lost his parents and siblings in the war and served as a soldier for 2 years. The first half of the story focuses on his time as a soldier and the last half focuses on his time in a rehab center. He comes across a kind worker and he learns to trust her and opens up to her about his experiences. When I read stories like this, I think that the world has a long way to go. At the same time, I am inspired by this young man and his ability to trust in people again after such a harrowing experience. I think we can all learn something from him.

Sad News

2007-01-12T10:30:00.000-05:00

There was a car crash on Wednesday afternoon and unfortunately 3 teens and an elderly woman died. The crash involved a few students from my youngest brother's high school; in fact one of the kids who died was in my brother's class. You can never be too careful behind the wheel.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/12/nyregion/12crash.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion&oref=slogin

Time to Exhale

2007-01-11T14:07:00.000-05:00

This week, I saw part of "Waiting to Exhale" on cable, one of my favorite chick flicks. The movie is based on the book by Terry McMillan; sometimes movie interpretations of books aren't so good. This movie is just as good as the book. The acting was fabulous, it was great to see all the characters come to life from the book, you get to see a young Donald Faison in the film, Dennis Haysbert aka President Palme has a featured role, and last but not least, the film is directed by Forest Whitaker, who is getting so much praise for his acting in "The Last King of Scotland".

What was I talking about again? Oh that's right, "Waiting to Exhale", and I didn't even mention one of my favorite lines in the movie; after Robin goes to bed with Michael, a co-worker, you hear a voiceover "He thinks he just did something?!? I could have had a V8". The soundtrack is not too shabby either, the best song from the movie is Whitney Houston's "Exhale (Shoop Shoop)", without further ado:

Everyone falls, in love sometimes
Sometimes it's wrong, and sometimes it's right
For every win, someone must fail
But there comes a point when... When we exhale,
yeah yeah Say, shoop, shoop, shoop...
All you gotta do is say shoop, shoop, shoop...
My Lord now, shoop, shoop...

2-Sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry
Life never tells us, the whens and whys
When you've got friends, to wish you well
You'll find a point when, you will exhale
Yeah, yeah Say, shoop, shoop, shoop.. Say shoobedoo...
Oh, hearts are often broken When there are words unspoken
In your soul there's, answers to your prayers
If you're searching for, a place you know
A familiar face, somewhere to go
You should look inside your soul
And you're half way there

(rpt 2)
I say shoop, shoop... Feels all right, you can say shoop...

Not Even Normal

2007-01-10T12:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not talking about myself, although this certainly applies to me : ) It's the title of a play I saw on Sunday afternoon at The Jewish Center. Rachel Factor is a very extraordinary woman, to find out more about her go to www.rachelfactor.com.

The show is about her journey to Orthodox Judaism. After converting in a Conservative synagogue, she married her husband, Todd (now Tuvia) and soon after, they had a chlid. New issues came up and after much thought and struggle, Rachel decided to undergo an Orthodox conversion. The show was partly her talking about her journey, singing some original songs, and even some dancing. She is a very engaging person, and her story is very inspirational.

When you become more observant, as I am, you learn all sorts of interesting things, like kol isha, which basically prohibits a woman from singing in a room with men. Supposedly, a woman's singing voice is very arousing, unless you hear Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem. Anyway, if you make a living as a singer and/or a dancer, and you want to become observant, this can pose many issues. So, it was even more impressive to see Rachel Factor performing because she used to be a Rockette, acted in commercials, etc. She still uses her talents but channels them in an appropriate way in her community. She is touring this week, go and see her show if you can.

A Tough Question

2007-01-08T12:45:00.000-05:00

Being the only observant Jew in my immediate family, I get asked many questions about Orthodox Judaism. Some are very straightforward questions about keeping shabbat and kosher and other questions are more difficult to answer. The last time I visited my parents, my mom asked me why there are some observant Jews that are very strict about keeping shabbat and kosher but not so strict about keeping the laws of shomer negia*.

My first reaction about hearing this question was "Do I really have to answer this?", I don't like being put into the position of spokesperson for Orthodox Judiasm, especially since I am very uncomfortable labeling how I practice Judaism.

After that initial thought, I decided to give it a shot. First I mentioned to my mom that people are putting off marriage for a variety of reasons, wanting to establish careers, live on their own before being married, etc. There is less of a stigma in society these days when it comes to premarital sex and living together before marriage, ie the popularity of "Sex and the City".

When you get married young, you don't have to struggle so much when it comes to shomer negia, although there are different struggles to be faced. In my neighborhood, I see people who are single well into their 30s and 40s and even though times have changed, the urges for physical contact have not changed. Everyone gets lonely, even in the city that never sleeps. It takes a herculean amount of self-discipline and self-confidence in order to remain shomer negia. When you live in a city with so many options at your door, it is a wonder that adults are shomer negia today. Some people are stronger at controlling these urges and are able to wait until they get married. Regardless, no one has the right to judge. We all have our own struggles to deal with and it is better to focus on yourself and how you can be a better person rather than tearing people down.

Has anyone ever had to answer these type of questions before? How would you have handled the situation?

*Shomer Negia - laws of touch; to sum it up, you are not allowed to touch any member of the opposite sex (other than immediate family) until marriage.

Downtown MacBeth

2007-01-07T18:43:00.000-05:00

Last night, a friend invited me to see an off-off-off Broadway production of Macbeth that was playing downtown. The last time I read MacBeth was in high school, so as you can imagine, it has been a long time since I've had any exposure to that play.

The theatre was on MacDougal St., it's called Manhattan Theatre Source. The venue was awesome, there was a cafe downstairs and a performance space upstairs. The play was sold out; the theatre was very small, a 50 seat theatre, seats on either side raised up from the stage. Every seat was basically a good seat.

All the actors were superb, I was drawn into the play like it was my first time. I was able to look at MacBeth with new eyes, seeing how power can corrupt anyone. I can't help but think that this really applies to current times. January 27th is the last day so if you are up for a new twist on Shakespeare, this is your play.

It's 2007 already?!?

2007-01-07T18:42:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to all my loyal readers. I hope that this year will be a happy, healthy, and successful year for all. This is a list of things I want to accomplish in 2007, it's a mix of serious and silly (much like me).

1. Apply and get accepted to graduate school for social work.
2. Master a particular form of dance (preferably something latin).
3. Take my nephew to the Children's Museum on the upper west side.
4. Take classes in improv or stand up comedy and maybe even perform.
5. Make a shabbat meal for my family (I don't mean ordering in!).
6. Go to Chabad services with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. There's a Chabad house equidistant between my bro's place and my place.
7. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and back. I hear the views are amazing.
8. Learn how to knit, for real (for those who don't know, I am in a knitting club and have been learning how to knit for years).
9. Join a book club.
10. Last but not least, would love to get married or at the very least be in a relationship that is heading towards marriage.

Will I accomplish all these goals? Only time will tell : )

New Endeavors

2006-12-28T09:42:00.000-05:00

I wrote a piece on Beyond BT and you can read it here: www.beyondbt.com.

Chinese Food and A Movie

2006-12-26T12:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I participated in an age old Jewish ritual hence the title. I went out with friends to Buddha Bodai, a wonderful kosher vegetarian place downtown, followed by drinks near Union Square and we saw 'Stranger Than Fiction" in the theatre on 11th St. and 3rd Ave. A fun time was had by all, maybe at some point later this week, I'll comment about the movie.

Moving Day

2006-12-25T11:50:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not moving apartment. My company is moving next month, January 22 to be exact. The next 2 weeks will be spent throwing junk out, and beginning to pack up some of my office. I've been at this job for 5 years so we shall see how much junk one person can accumulate after 5 years at a job. I can't wait....

From One Chanukah Party To Another

2006-12-21T13:08:00.001-05:00

I went to two parties this week in my synagogue; the one on Tuesday night was held by Hineni, http://www.hineni.org. Even though it seemed that the average age of people at the party was 45, my friend and I had a good time. There was good food (what Jewish event would be complete without food?), music, and a very festive feeling in the air. We couldn't stay there long because we had to go to Colbeh to meet two friends of his for dinner. The service at Colbeh was excellent, and the food was delicious. I normally eat meat only on Shabbas and holidays, it was a treat to go to Colbeh during the week and eat their yummy chicken and steak dishes.

Last night, I went to another party at my syangogue, this time in conjunction with Isralight, http://www.isralight.org. I knew alot more people at this party and there seemed to be a younger crowd which was much more to my liking. To my surprise, Improvodox was performing (http://www.improvodox.com). Improvodox is a new Jewish improv group that started performing 2 months ago. Their show was fun to watch, the performers' enthusiasm was contagious.

Tonight, there are no Chanukah parties for me since I'm working at my part time job tonight. It looks like I'll have a quite Shabbat, followed by a bridal shower on Sunday and the next week I do not have to work my part-time job so at least I will have my nights free. There are some interesting developments in my full time job, which I will talk about next post.

Chanukah questions

2006-12-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

I am participating in a special project for Chanukah. The woman behind this wonderful project is Amy Guth. On every night of Chanukah, a certain number of bloggers will answer a fun list of Chanukah related questions (1st night, 1 blogger, 2nd night, 2 bloggers and so on). If you want more information on Amy Guth go to www.guthagogo.com.

On to the questions:

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight(as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them up,flavor and/or garnish them?

I would put a dollop of sour cream on each latke, sprinkle some basil on the latkes, and arrange some slices of yellow and orange peppers around the latkes. It's all about presentation : )

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

I can't recall at this time.

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Combine with lemon juice or lemon and it is the best salad dressing. Olive oil is also wonderful for dipping challah in or as a sauce for pasta with some red pepper flakes and dried garlic.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Hammentaschen definitely kicks latkes' butt but sufganiyot rules all, specifically my mother's sufganiyot. Her sufganiyot are great with powdered sugar.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

Put a little alcohol in the mix. I think Godiva liquer would go great with a game of driedel.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

My mother (I love her company, she is such a kind woman yet can make some sarcastic yet insightful comments), my grandmother (my mom's mom, she passed away several years ago; I have such wonderful memories of times spent with her when I was a kid, she always dressed impeccably, was never without her jewelry and her hair done just right) and my best friend (she is my longest-standing friend, we've known each other since we were 5-6 years old and since I don't have any sisters, she is the closest thing I have to one).

7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

"The Bamboo Cradle" is a great gift for Chanukah. The book details the story of a Jewish couple in China who adopts a baby girl and the couple write about their journey. It is an inspirational book and very fitting for this holiday. I love reading historical fiction novels; I view it as a way of travel if you don't have the money and time. I have also been reading biographies and memoirs lately. Any biography on Jewish women (past or present) would be a great gift to get me.

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?(link to them)

Devora at http://devorasadventures.blogspot.com and Arona at http://whoneedsalastname.blogspot.com

The other bloggers participating today are:

http://trueancestor.typepad.com

http://theshalvster.blogspot.com

http://fakejew.blogspot.com

http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com

Happy Chanukah to all who are celebrating this holiday and if not, then I want to wish you Happy Holidays.

A Very Special Wedding

2006-12-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I went to a friend's wedding in Connecticut. The bride is a friend of mine from synagogue, she converted to Judaism this year and her journey to Judaism is inspiring. She was a high school English teacher and we were touched to see so many of her former students celebrating. Her husband is a rabbinical student and I have no doubt in my mind that he will make an excellent rabbi, he is a sweetheart and is so intelligent.

Since I am at work, I can't write all that I want to now on this wedding. I will say that I witnessed an unbelievable gathering of love for the bride and groom and my blessing to them is that they live a long, healthy life full of joy and inspiration.

What is The World Coming To?

2006-12-14T12:30:00.000-05:00

Exhibit A: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/14/books/14cart.html?ref=arts

Jimmy Carter, former President of the US, wrote a book on the situation in Israel and from my limited understanding, it apparently does not paint Israeli in a favorable light. I will refrain from commenting any more until I have read the book.

Keep in mind, I will not spend my hard-earned money buying the book. That leaves me with two options: wait until it gets to my local library or go into Barnes and Noble and read it over a latte.

Borat and the Tarot Card Reader

2006-12-11T10:30:00.000-05:00

I had a fun-filled weekend. I spent Shabbat with old and new friends. I had someone stay with me for Shabbas; lately I've been having friends of friends stay over which, thank G-d, has worked out very well. I went to a friend's place for dinner on Friday; I actually contributed a home-made dish for the meal; I made a corn souffle and switched the dairy ingredients to parve ingredients (thank G-d for tofutti). In case anyone is interested, I can give you the recipe.
Just to show you that there is truly 6 degrees of separation in the Jewish community, one of the guests at the dinner is the brother of one of my roommates in Jerusalem when I studied there.

Borat was a topic of discussion both at the Friday night dinner and on Shabbat, where my synagogue held a Kiddush conversation on whether Borat was comedic or anti-Semitic. It was set up as a debate followed by comments and questions. There was a huge turnout for the discussion and I would want to see the movie, although I've heard so much about it that it's sort of been ruined for me. There was also a special kiddush for a couple that recently had a baby girl, she is their first child and it was special because they were among the people that I first studied with at Aish in NY back in 2002. She is a very cute baby, I call her "Little Peanut".

Motzei Shabbas (after Shabbat), I took a bus to NJ and got in later than I would have liked. I learned the hard way that it is better to take a subway to Port Authority than a taxi on Saturday evening. To make up for the hellish cab ride, I was able to get on the next bus pretty quickly and the bus ride did go smoothly. My best friend took me to her company holiday party.
It was a pretty casual affair; it's held at the head's home, catered food was bought in along with a ton of alcohol. We each had to bring in a wrapped gift for "Robbers X'mas", you pick a number and choose a gift. Your gift can be stolen at any point in the game, at which point you can either steal someone else's gift or choose a new gift on the table. This goes on until all the gifts are taken. At least 60% of the gifts were bottles of alcohol. I had my eye on a Ghiradelli Chocolate gift basket which we stole only to have it stolen from us on the next turn.

There was also karaoke, a jewelry bazaar (we each got a piece of jewelry for free) and a tarot card reader. I've had palm readings and tarot card readings before and I thought it was all a bunch of crap. In my opinion, it seems that the readers say general statements that can apply to everyone. Also, I'm not sure whether tarot cards and palm readings are frowned upon in Orthodox Judaism; could that be looked at as a form of idol worship? Whatever the case, I decided to get a reading for fun and she definitely said some interesting but good things that apply to goals I'm trying to accomplish in 6 months time.

Yesterday was spent relaxing at home with the family and I had a long bus ride back thanks to a car accident or two by the Lincoln Tunnel that caused some serious backups. Now starts another work week and I am very grateful to have a couple of 3 day weekends coming up.

Conservative Judaism* in the News

2006-12-07T12:03:00.000-05:00

There are lots of interesting articles in the NY Times today, this article first and foremost: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/07/us/07jews.html?ref=us

For those of you who haven't read the article, the leaders of the Conservative Movement in Judaism have voted to allow the ordination of gay rabbis. I think about how I view homosexuality and it seems to be opposite of Orthodox Judaism, which presents a conflict. I daven in a Modern Orthodox synagogue and the way I practice Judaism is headed in that direction. Let me explain:

In my life, I try my hardest to be non-judgmental. I have a 'live and let live' attitude, meaning that you can live your life however you want as long as it doesn't impede the way I live my life. I find that some of my beliefs are opposite of Orthodox Judaism, specifically homosexuality.

The thing is, I don't view homosexuality as 'wrong'. If every human being is made in the image of G-d and the only difference between two specific people is that one person is homosexual and the other is not, what's the problem with homosexual couples wanting to get married, or wanting to be ordained as rabbis?

Orthodox Judaism holds a strong view against homosexuality, as seen in the Torah*, specifically Leviticus 18:22 "And you shall not cohabit with a male as one cohabits with a woman; it is an abomination." and Leviticus 20:13 "And if a man cohabits with a male as with a woman, both of them have done an abominable thing; they shall be put to death; their blood falls back upon them." No shades of gray in those verses!

You can see how the 'live and let live' attitude isn't in sync with Orthodox Judaism. What if I believe that the Torah is from G-d, and I observe Shabbos and Kashrus but I don't share the same views on homsexuality? Can I still be a Modern Orthodox Jew and believe that its' okay for homosexual couples to get married or for a gay rabbi to be ordained? Do I have to change my beliefs in order to be accepted as a Modern Orthodox Jew?

* A branch of Judaism that is more traditional than reform but less stringent than Orthodox Judaism. Look at www.uscj.org

*Torah, otherwise known as the Bible, separated into 5 portions (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy)

Reason #1 Why I Want to Live in Canada

2006-12-07T11:25:00.000-05:00

I love living in New York City but when I read this article in the New York Times today, I was a little jealous of people living in Canada.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/07/arts/television/07mosq.html?pagewanted=1&ref=arts

To summarize the link, the article is about a new TV show in Canada called "Little Mosque on the Prairie", a comedy on life for Muslims in North America after 9/11. I hope to get a chance to see the show; any show that gets people to think about things they wouldn't normally think of is worth a viewing.

The Beauty of Ugly Betty

2006-12-05T15:51:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite new TV shows this year, besides Heroes, is Ugly Betty. I don't get to see that show too much since I work on Thursday nights but I have caught up on almost all the episodes by catching them on abc.com (limited commercials, yea!).

You can't call Ugly Betty a comedy or a drama since it has elements of both. I love how each episode goes back and forth between showing Betty in her job at Mode. Her work environment looks so pretty and modern but there's alot of ugly stuff going on under the surface. There's jealousy and back-stabbing between co-workers, and a "murder" mystery. Then, you see Betty's life in Queens with her family and her boyfriend Walter (Uggh!!). Her home life is a little chaotic but underneath you can see there's genuine love and affection between her family.

All the characters on the show are awesome in their own way but the person that ties the show together is Betty, she is the one you root for every week. At one point in our lives, we have all been Ugly Betty. We can all identify with sticking out in a crowd, feeling that we are not understood, being picked on because we are different. Betty is not perfect, a little too eager to please at times and don't get me started on her fashion choices, but there is such a sense of integrity and loyalty to her. America Ferrera is a major reason why this show works. If you were to see a picture of her outside the show, you will realize that she is very beautiful. It is very ironic that she stars as Betty because she is the most beautiful person on this show. I know we've heard this message a million times before but it bears repeating: there is nothing wrong with being yourself, in fact that is the best thing you can do in this world.

Sex Grease

2006-11-29T09:54:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went to a friend's bridal shower and got a little lost in the neighborhood because someone didn't tell me that I should take the elevator when I exit the subway station instead of walking through the tunnel out of the station. I arrived at the shower just in time for "Bridal Shower Mad Libs", my friend made up a story about the bride-to-be (BTB) and she gave us 2-3 cards each and we had to fill in a noun, adjective, or verb. Afterwards, the BTB opened her gifts and she got some really nice things, however the only thing I can remember is a few "naughty' gifts that she got, "Sex Grease" being one of them. What is "Sex Grease"? Use your imagination : )

Stockholm Here I Come!!

2006-11-29T09:52:00.000-05:00

Look at this tidbit: http://music.yahoo.com/read/news/37584074

It's about time!

Party Till the Break of Dawn

2006-11-27T09:19:00.000-05:00

I'm already back in the office and I admit it was a little hard to get out of bed today, especially after a relaxing, fun long weekend. Thankfully, the unseasonably warm weather helped motivate me to get up today. I walk to work everyday and I enjoy the walk, especially on days like this.

So after a couple of relaxing days at home in NJ, I took the bus back to NYC and went out to celebrate a friend's birthday. I have not seen this wonderful friend in a long time, we're talking 2 years. She went to the Midwest to pursue a masters degree and she just finished this semester. Her birthday was on Saturday and we went out dancing since that is one of her favorite things to do.

The best way to describe the night would be like this:

Cover charge to get into a club: $20 (doesn't apply to me since our group got in for free)
Cab ride to the first club from my place: $13
One mixed vodka drink: $12
Cab ride from the first club to the second club: $6.60
Cab ride from the 2nd club to my place: $18
Cover charge at 2nd club: $10
Dancing with your friends all night long : priceless

If you want to know more about the clubs we went to, look at www.duvetny.com. (can't figure out a shortcut on how to link to other websites) and www.theannexnyc.com. A big indicator of whether a bar or club is worthwhile is whether you would want to go back there another night and I would love to go back to The Annex on another Saturday night. I'm not sure I'd want to go back to Duvet, maybe if I didn't have to pay to go there. I didn't go to sleep until 4 AM, can't believe that I used to go out to clubs almost every weekend, it's a very exhausting way to live.

I slept in yesterday, got a gift for a friend's bridal shower this week, saw a friend for coffee and went to Barnes and Noble and got a birthday gift for one of my brothers. One gift down, a whole lot more to go.

Happy Turkey Day, oops Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T12:52:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers, enjoy the long weekend : ) Plans are to spend time with my family and friends who I haven't seen in awhile. We'll see how that works.....

One of my favorite things about Thanksgiving: sleeping in, normally I wake up at 7:30 but today I slept in until 9:00. I've been watching a little TV, currently I'm watching an episode of MTV's True Life: I'm A Competitive Eater. I may have many talents but eating alot of food in a limited amount of time is not one of them. If there was a "Slowest Eater" contest, then I'd be a contender.

American Music Awards aka a waste of time

2006-11-22T12:24:00.000-05:00

For the first time in awhile, I had a whole night to myself; no part time job to go to, no classes to attend. I decided to do something that I have not done in a long time, and that is to watch an awards show. The American Music Awards show aired last night on ABC and I decided to check it out. Despite the title of the post, there were some things that I liked about the show but before I get to those, I will talk about the things I didn't like. I always like to end things on a positive note : )

Things I Did Not Like

1. Carrie Underwood's outfit: It looked like she couldn't decide what to wear; "I'd like to wear hot shorts but maybe I should wear a gown over it....Hmm what will I do? I'll wear the back of my gown over shorts. Why didn't I think of it before?"

2. The Kevin Federline skit: It's pretty obvious that he is what we call unpopular. This had all the subtlety of an anvil, and then Britney Spears coincidentally presents an award right after...

3. Nelly Furtado's performance: the song didn't do it for me, it's no "Promiscuous". Also, I think her outfit is see-thru under certain lighting.

4. Pussycat Dolls: the less said about them, the better.

5. everytime Paris Hilton was shown onscreen

6. Gwen Stefani: Her new song "Wind It Up" stinks! I do not like 'The Sound of Music', so any song that samples anything from a movie I don't like does not go well with me. It also sounds alot like her other song "Hollaback Girl". I loved "Love Angel Music Baby" but if her new album is all like that new song, then I don't think I will spend the $10 on ITunes to listen to it.

7. Flava Flav's appearance: I thought he looked like a fool, didn't find it funny at all.

Things I Liked

1. Beyonce's performance: A great way to start off the show, and she looked HOT!!!

2. Carrie Underwood's performance: It's funny how I can go from disliking her when she was on American Idol to sort of liking her now.

3. Mary J. Blige's performance: It is simply a joy to hear her sing.

4. Lionel Richie: There are certain men in this world who get better looking with age and Lionel Richie is one of these men. His new song was okay but I loved it when he sang "All Night Long".

5. Jimmy Kimmel: I thought he was a decent host, enjoyed his jokes, didn't bore me to tears.

Okay, so maybe the AMA was not a total waste of t.ime

Every Today is Another Chance to Get Things Right

2006-11-22T09:54:00.000-05:00

I saw this slogan on a bus yesterday while walking to work. Often, you don't find interesting slogans like this on a bus. Where did the quote come from? You might be surprised if I tell you it's from a TV show. The TV show is called 'Daybreak', it stars Taye Diggs and premiered on ABC last week. The premise of the show is that the main character is framed for a murder and his family is in danger. Every morning he wakes up, the same day repeats and he has to find out who framed him for murder and keep his family safe. Until he solves the mystery, the day will keep repeating itself.

Upon further reflection, this quote is a great way to live your life. Let's say you had a bad day at work, or you had an argument with a family member or a close friend. Every day is another chance to start fresh, you have a clean slate. Every morning, Jews say a prayer upon waking up. We thank G-d for letting us wake up to see another day. We get another chance to fulfill our potential for the day, to use our time productively. We can find inspiration from the most unlikely place, even from a sign on a city bus.

What is Your Superpower?

2006-11-21T09:28:00.000-05:00

In honor of the awesome TV show known as Heroes, I want to talk about superpowers. Seeing all these characters discover their superpowers and finding out how it relates to their lives, I think about what superpowers I would like to have. A website dedicated to recapping and posting about TV shows has a popular forum dedicated to Heroes, you can post about what superpower you would like to have.

I would really like to have 2 superpowers: the ability to turn back time and mind control. I can't tell you how many times I've said something I shouldn't have said and wished that I could take it back. I think we've all been there. As for mind control, I think it would certainly enhance certain aspects of my personality. I've been told that I can be charming and persuasive, why not use the power of mind control for good? I could mend rifts between friends, between family, not to mention the effect that would have on a global level.

It's too bad procrastination is not a superpower. Unfortunately, that ability seems to have stuck with me.

Prayer Seminar - Isralight Style

2006-11-20T11:38:00.000-05:00

Sunday is a day of relaxation for most people, a day to sleep in late. This was not the case for me and about 50-60 other people who went to a seminar on tefilla (prayer). Rabbi David Aaron, dean of Isralight led the seminar. Isralight is one of many organizations that reach out to unaffiliated Jews, I find their classes to be of a high quality and you can really take what you learn in their classes and apply it to your life.

The first part of the seminar focused on what prayer really is, Rabbi Aaron argued that Jews do not pray. That was quite a way to wake up the audience! He talked about his upbringing and some of the misconceptions he had about prayer, one such misconception is that you're supposed to read from the siddur as quickly as possible. I suppose that is why I like to go to intermediate services, instead of regular services. At a regular service, I find myself playing catch-up most of the time and it really detracts from my time with Hashem (G-d). Another point Rabbi Aaron made is that we read from a siddur, not a prayerbook. Through reading the siddur, we are supposed to transform ourselves. The Hebrew term used in this case is 'lehit pallel'. Whether that happens all the time is anyone's guess.

The second part of the seminar focused on the Shemonei Esrei or Amidah, the major prayer in the siddur. The Amidah originaly featured 18 blessings but an extra one was added. We focused on the introductory line (My Lord, open your lips that my mouth may declare your praise) and the first blessing (Patriarchs). Basically, the first blessing really sets the tone for the rest of the prayer; it establishes that there is an active, long-standing relationship with Hashem going back to the times of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob (our three forefathers). If we don't get that aspect, then the rest of the prayer is basically said in vain.

For something that we are supposed to do 3 times a day (men for sure, there are differing opinions on how often women should pray) prayer is something that gets pushed aside at time and that shouldn't be the case. I feel that this seminar gave me concrete ideas to focus on in my prayers that will enhance my relationship with Hashem.

Manic Monday*

2006-11-20T11:07:00.000-05:00

I really dislike Mondays. You're probably thinking "you and everyone else on this planet...so what?" Well, I think I have a legitimate reason for disliking Mondays. I work a part-time job 2 nights a week, Monday is one of those nights. Between those 2 jobs, I work 11 hours a day. Until a few months ago, I did have a little time in between my two jobs to go home and chill out. Since my part-time job is in a different neighborhood than where I live, I decided to sign up for 1-on-1 learning in a Jewish outreach program in that neighborhood. So that fills up the gap of time I have in between my 2 jobs.

On one hand, I love the learning and I have become good friends with my tutor. We started off learning the laws of Shabbat and have moved on to learning about the laws of cooking on Shabbat, with forays into the weekly Torah portion and the laws regarding blessings. On the other hand, this schedule leaves me exhausted by the end of the day and it's not something I look forward to after a long weekend. What can I do? I can either a. move my learning to a different night of the week or b. change my hours of my part-time job by either switching nights or reducing my hours to 1 night a week instead of 2.

ETA: Manic Monday is a perfect little pop song, one of the songs that comes to your head when you think of 80s music.

A Night At The Opera

2006-11-19T16:52:00.001-05:00

Last night, I got to see "Madama Butterfly". This is a new production done by Anthony Minghella, the same man who directed "The English Patient" and 'The Talented Mr. Ripley", both films that I loved. I am not a fan of opera, I think I've seen only one opera in my life before last night. A friend got tickets as a birthday gift for himself and he decided to treat me to some opera.

First of all, I wore one of my LBD's (little black dress), so nice to get all dolled up : ) It was such a shock to see how casually people dress to go to the opera. I never thought I'd see people dressed in blue jeans to see an opera.

Getting back to the show, the story of "Madama Butterfly" is fascinating; it is one of the most tragic stories around. The costumes were beautiful, and the singing was astounding. I can't imagine how much training one must undergo in order to become an opera singer. There were 3 acts, Act I and Act II Part i and Act II Part ii. Before Act II part i, there was a technical glitch and before Act II part ii, the lead singer fell ill and couldn't finish the part so the understudy finished up the show. It was very dis-jarring to see a different person play Madama Butterfly. Even with the unexpected mishaps, I enjoyed seeing this opera. This is high praise coming from someone who dislikes opera. If you want to take someone who has never seen an opera before, I would suggest taking him/her to Madama Butterfly.

After The Rain*

2006-11-17T09:15:00.000-05:00

Last night, there were wicked thunderstorms where I live. At some times, it sounded like golf balls were pouring down instead of rain. But now, it's beautiful outside, blue skies with no clouds and the temperature is a little cool but nevertheless very nice.

One of my favorite things about Shabbat is the reading of the Torah. Every week, we read one, sometimes, two, sections (parsha) of the Torah. It seems that no matter what is going on in your life, the parsha for that week somehow can be related to certain circumstances in your life and this week is no exception for me. This week's portion is Chayei Sarah, it starts off with Abraham burying Sarah. Then we move on to Abraham realizing that Issac needs a wife to continue the existence of the Jewish people so since Abraham is old and can't travel to help Issac find a wife, he enlists Eliezer, his servant, to help Issac find a wife.

What struck me the most was the Eliezer was looking for a girl with the quality of kindness (chesed). He stood by the well to see which woman would offer to give him water first, the first woman he sees not only gives him water but also gives his camels water. As you can imagine, that is a physically challenging task but it didn't occur to her that it would be difficult, she automatically assumed that the camels must be thirsty so she gave them water. Who is this lovely woman? That woman was Rebecca, one of our matriarchs.

In my opinion, even though alot of people I know say they want to get married and start a family, there seems to be a disconnect between what people say and what people do. There are a million and one reasons why you might not want to go out with someone, they're not the same level as you religiously, they're too short, too tall, not enough hair, too much hair, too old, too young, the list can go on. What people forget, and I am not excluding myself here, is that character is really what counts in the long run. We will show signs of aging, our figures will not be the same in 10, 20, 30 years as they are now, character is the one thing that will stay with us forever. In the first few dates, we are all on our best behavior. If you want to see someone as they really are, see how they treat waiters, cab drivers; how they talk about their families, how they deal with the unexpected(a rainstorm, show tickets are sold out, etc.) By all means, make sure you are attracted to the person physically and vice versa, make sure that if you're not in the same place religiously, that you are going in the same direction. I've learned from experience that if you have issues with the character/personality of the person you're dating that most likely, what you see is what you get so you better a. learn to live with it. or b. end that relationship and find someone who is better for you.

Rebecca's kindness and compassion shone through and that was why she became the wife of Issac and one of our matriarchs. That is one thing I want to work on in my dating. Whatever dates I go on (it will be decided whether or not I will blog about them) I will keep kindness and character in the front of my mind. If I hear someone say that the Torah does not apply to them, then I will be happy to talk about the lessons of Chayei Sarah.

* Cheesy 80s song by Nelson; Gunnar and Matthew Nelson, twins with long pretty blond hair that was way prettier than normal for mens hair, they are part of the famous Nelson family. Recently, Gunnar Nelson appeared on Celebrity Fit Club, the VH1 show where has-been celebrities go to lose weight and get on the B-list or C-list of fame.

P.S. If I got any details of Chayei Sarah wrong, I apologize.

Where Has Modesty Gone?

2006-11-16T15:51:00.000-05:00

Last night, I went to the 4th class of a 7 class series of womens' classes. The topic of the class was on tznius, loosely translated as modesty. First, the instructor showed us various pictures of models (men and women) in various states of undress; it was shocking how much some of these pictures looked like pornography; the sad thing is that we have become us immune to this. This is what happens when you see pictures like that all the time.

We also discussed how tznius applies to both men and women; even though women get the short end of the stick when it comes to guidelines for dress (knees, elbows, and collarbones have to be covered), men also have it rough as well in their own way. When a man becomes observant, he can forget about watching the next Britney Spears video!

The last part of class was about hair covering, a good percentage of the women who take this class are engaged or married. When a Jewish woman gets married, she is supposed to cover her hair. The point of view behind this is that hair is a very alluring part of a woman's body, and when you're married, you don't want to be showing that off to anyone else but your husband. Some women buy hats or scarves and others get a sheitel (wig) to cover their hair. Even though I am not currently in a relationship, it was interesting to hear other womens points of view on this topic, it is an intense decision for a women to cover her hair.

Most TV shows and music videos are low on modesty. One TV show that is currently gaining popularity is called "Pants Off Dance Off", it airs on the Fuse Network and it is a pretty self-explanatory concept. Various people of all ages and sizes dance to music videos and take their clothes off for $. I have caught glimpses of this show and I have found myself watching more than a few minutes of the show; I compare it to driving on the highway and seeing a multi-car pileup, even though you know you shouldn't watch it you are compelled to watch. I seriously want to know what is the mindset for people who dance on this show; do they want their 5 minutes of notoriety, is it some weird way of letting go of body insecurity, who knows?
Do they not understand that there are people who watch this show? What if you are on a job interview and you happened to dance on the show awhile back and let's say the person who interviewed you happens to flip channels and catches you on the show? How embarrassing would that be?

Seriously, it is a sad comment on society that a show like "Pants Off Dance Off" is popular, and I will do my small part by simply not watching the show, even for a glimpse.

We Can Be Heroes

2006-11-16T13:54:00.000-05:00

This is an ode to "Heroes", the best new TV show this year. Initially, I thought it would be one of those shows that would attract a small but loyal crowd, destined to go to the "Critically Acclaimed but Canceled" bin. To my surprise, this show has proven to be very popular. For a show with so many characters, the writers have managed to make them multi-dimensional and I am invested in their stories. I am sad when every episode ends and eagerly look forward to the next episode. I am not one to get DVD sets of TV shows but I would love to get the DVD set for this show when it comes out. This show will get an Emmy nomination for Best Drama, mark my words.

This Dallas Cowboy Can Dance

2006-11-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

Because I was at my womens' class last night, I missed the finale of Dancing With The Stars. I was thrilled to read that Emmitt Smith won over Mario Lopez. What a suitable end to an otherwise weird, messed-up season. I remember feeling bummed out when talented dancers such as Willa Ford and Vivica Fox were voted out over other dancers who were not so talented (they shall remain nameless). I'm not even getting into the whole Sara Evans divorce saga, suffice it to say that is a very sad situation, especially for her kids.

There were other dancers I enjoyed watching like Joey Lawrence and Monique Coleman. I will remember Jerry Springer's waltz, Joey's quickstep, Monique's jive, Harry Hamlin's pathetic attempt at dancing the cha-cha, and the downright puzzling musical choices of this season (dancing to Kris Kross for the mambo, Bon Jovi for Paso Doble). I was happy with the final 3 and even happier with the winner. As talented of a dancer as Mario is, I can't help but think that his personal life may have contributed to his loss of the title. When I learned he was competing on the show, the first thing I thought of besides his 'acting' on Saved By The Bell was his short-lived marriage to Ali Landry and the alleged reason why it ended. I'm not sure whether it's true or not but it did stay in my mind and that happened at least a couple of years ago.

I wouldn't be surprised if Mario, Joey, Willa, Monique, and even Vivica get cast on Broadway shows in the next year. As for the DWTS tour, I'm not sure I would pay big bucks to see that. Maybe if I can get discounted tickets of Craigslist.....

Filling in the Blanks

2006-11-15T15:44:00.000-05:00

Since I've come back from Israel, I've been busy dealing with other pursuits besides finding a husband ; )

1. Career: I have gotten applications for MSW (Masters in Social Work) programs and am in the process of filling out applications. Thank G-d I don't have to take the GREs again, I hated taking them the first time around. My full-time job is good, the company I work for will be moving sometime in 2007. There is nothing like an impending move to motivate you to clean your office and throw out some old papers. I am still working my part-time job, 2 nights a week.

2. Religion/Spirituality: I have learning one-on-one for almost 4 months. There are some Jewish organizations that will set you up with someone to learn any subject in Judaism you want. I consider my tutor a really good friend, and I think we've learned so much from each other over the past few months. I've been keeping Shabbat on a consistent basis since I've come back from Israel, and as for keeping kosher, I'm working on that. Some weeks are better than others. Whenever I go to the cafeteria where I work, my choices are extremely limited, basically I can get a salad, fresh fruit, or packaged kosher goods. I've also kept busy taking other class in the neighborhood and I would like to start visiting other communities or go to a different synagogue 1x a month.

3. Family: Thank G-d my family is doing just fine. I see my adorable nephew 1-2x a week, he will be a year and a half real soon. It is so wonderful to have your family nearby, I don't understand how people can cope with their families being far away, like on the other side of the country or even in another county altogether.

I've also been spending time with old friends, went to a couple of birthday parties at bars/clubs and will probably go to another one later this month. The last movie I saw was Superman Returns (no joke!), haven't been to a museum since March of this year. I have been watching some new TV shows, favorites are Heroes, Ugly Betty, Help Me Help You, and The Nine. A couple weekends ago, I went to a Volunteer Day and spent the day cleaning up a synagogue in another neighborhood. Yea, that pretty much sums it up.

Who's That Girl?

2006-11-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

Your eyes are not deceiving you. I am back after a nearly 4 month blogging hiatus. I can't wait to tell you what I've been up to these days.

Israel Trip: Week 2

2006-07-26T11:35:00.000-05:00

July 9: another day of learning; in Israel, Sunday is a regular day of work. Very confusing if you live in the US or other countries where you have Sundays off from work.

July 10: more learning; after classes, we usually hang out in the apartment, playing Scrabble, surfing the internet (one of my lovely roomies had a laptop with internet access), talking

July 11: classes in the morning, afternoon tour of the Old City, afterwards I met up with my aunt and uncle for dinner

July 12: classes, hanging out with roomies

July 13: Fast of Tammuz; first time ever observing that day; classes in the morning; I left late afternoon to go meet my relatives

July 14: spent late morning/early afternoon in Tel Aviv with two of my cousins; at night there was a family dinner

July 15: went to services at my grandmother's home (she lives in an assisted living facility), had lunch with her; she has led such an interesting life and I want to ask her as much about it while she's still around; after Shabbas, went to the mall with my aunts, had some coffee with them

July 16: more classes, met up with a friend for lunch, I knew her back when she was in New York learning at Aish Hatorah, spent a year learning, never left, is now married and expecting (update: she had the baby this week)

July 17: last day of classes, very sad : ( went to a series of lectures in Jerusalem on laws of speech, my roommate and I left after the first speech because we couldn't understand what he was talking about (and he was speaking in English!)

July 18: finished packing, met my friend at the Aish Hatorah womens' seminary and saw a friend who I hadn't seen in close to 3 years; afterwards, I went to the mall and met up with my roommates and a friend from New York, a great good-bye dinner followed, I feel so blessed to have been able to spend time learning, to have met the women I learned with, specfically all 6 of my roommates; I really felt we had a special connection and that will always be there.

July 19: arrived safely in the US after a long, long flight

Coming up: Reflections on Israel trip, have I changed?

Oops, I Did It Again

2006-07-26T11:22:00.000-05:00

Here I go again, liking someone who is so unsuitable for me it's not even funny. Age is nothing but a number? Ha, if I truly believe that, I must have a one-way ticket to Fantasyland.

Israel Trip Week 1: July 2-8

2006-07-24T14:33:00.000-05:00

July 2: arrived in Israel, was greeted at the airport by my cousin, took a shuttle to where I was staying in Jerusalem, met my roommates, went out for dinner, settled in

July 3: first day of learning for me (8:30-5:30 with lunch break in between), met the women in my classes, all beautiful, intelligent women; first trip to the supermarket, very interesting to try to naviage the store when you can't understand the language all that well, now I have a slight understanding how some immigrants feel when they arrive in the US for the first time

July 4: half day of school, had lunch with my cousin who lives close to Jerusalem, met my roommates in Mea Shearim (kind of like Boro Park), the only town I know with a sign telling women to dress modestly

July 5: more learning

July 6: half day of learning, trip to Masada/Dead Sea in the afternoon; guided tour of Masada followed by a swim near the Dead Sea; first time at a womens only beach and quickly realized that wearing a bikini on a beach in Tel Aviv is okay but not so okay on a womens' beach; after a quick meal, we went to the Sound and Light show at Masada; first part was a taped lecture on the history of Masada followed by a reenactment of the fall of Masada; I didn't know what to look at first; the reenactment or the night sky

July 7-8: Friday was spent hanging out with roommates; Shabbat dinner I went to a family in the neighborhood with 2 people, Shabbat lunch I went to another family by myself; thankfully a few of my roommates were around for Shabbas so I wasn't lonely; Motzei Shabbas (after Shabbat) I went to the Kotel; even though I've been to the Kotel before, I've never been there at night; there is a special energy at night, especially right after Shabbas

Coming up: details of my 2nd week in Israel

Israel in My Heart

2006-07-23T16:54:00.000-05:00

I arrived back in the US 4 days ago and as happy as I am to be back in the US with my family and friends, I already miss Israel, specifically my relatives, friends from the US that are in Israel, and new friends I made while I was learning. G-d willing, I will be back in Israel soon, longer than 2 weeks (I hope!) and hopefully at a time when things will be calm again.

Coming up: Israel trip overview

Guess Who I Saw Today?

2006-06-26T11:45:00.000-05:00

Last night was the last class in a seminar for women who want to complete 40 day prayers. The benefits from this class were unbelievable; who would have predicted in the beginning of the seminar that I would want to go learn in Israel for 2 weeks? who would have predicted that I would come away from this with a new friend and possibilities for new friendships? who would have predicted that I would come to believe that I can talk to G-d anywhere, at work, on a bus, in the middle of a party?

Getting back to the point of this post, last night one of the women in my class told me that she and her boyfriend saw my ex-roommate on a train. Now, this was my last roommate and the relationship had its ups and downs. We haven't spoken for at least 2 1/2 years. Anyway, I find out that she's doing good and still living in the same place but she is living "The Break Up".

At first, I laughed but then I stopped as I realized that this wasn't just a movie but I know someone who is actually living that situation. Even if my relationship with her doesn't exist anymore, this is not something I would wish on anyone. I know first-hand the pain of a long-term relationship ending and the healing process. Now, imagine trying to heal from that relationship and having to still live with that person day in and day out.

Sometimes, when you hear something and you don't know how to react, you laugh. As my friend from class says, the situation just sucks and I do hope that she stays strong and is able to move on from that relationship, get closure, and be able to move on with the next chapter in her life, whatever it may be.

Israel, Here I Come!!

2006-06-21T11:58:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons I wasn't blogging very much this past week was because I was finalizing my trip to Israel. I was procrastinating getting my ticket, reasons are 1. I was looking for financial aid for my flight and I did get that, thank g-d; 2. I couldn't decide which airport I was flying out of; 3. I couldn't find a flight that fit my schedule. Once all three of these factors were solved, I ended up getting my ticket and with the help I'm getting, I will be paying under 4 figures for my flight and for a flight to Isreal in July, paying under 4 figures is downright unheard of.

This week, I found out where I will be staying in Israel. My family there is so cool, and I'm sure they are already planning where to take me, what to do, etc. Since I will be learning there, I do have a set schedule but I also have some free time as well. I will be in Israel during the beginning and middle of July. Wish me lots of luck!