After The Rain*

Last night, there were wicked thunderstorms where I live. At some times, it sounded like golf balls were pouring down instead of rain. But now, it's beautiful outside, blue skies with no clouds and the temperature is a little cool but nevertheless very nice.

One of my favorite things about Shabbat is the reading of the Torah. Every week, we read one, sometimes, two, sections (parsha) of the Torah. It seems that no matter what is going on in your life, the parsha for that week somehow can be related to certain circumstances in your life and this week is no exception for me. This week's portion is Chayei Sarah, it starts off with Abraham burying Sarah. Then we move on to Abraham realizing that Issac needs a wife to continue the existence of the Jewish people so since Abraham is old and can't travel to help Issac find a wife, he enlists Eliezer, his servant, to help Issac find a wife.

What struck me the most was the Eliezer was looking for a girl with the quality of kindness (chesed). He stood by the well to see which woman would offer to give him water first, the first woman he sees not only gives him water but also gives his camels water. As you can imagine, that is a physically challenging task but it didn't occur to her that it would be difficult, she automatically assumed that the camels must be thirsty so she gave them water. Who is this lovely woman? That woman was Rebecca, one of our matriarchs.

In my opinion, even though alot of people I know say they want to get married and start a family, there seems to be a disconnect between what people say and what people do. There are a million and one reasons why you might not want to go out with someone, they're not the same level as you religiously, they're too short, too tall, not enough hair, too much hair, too old, too young, the list can go on. What people forget, and I am not excluding myself here, is that character is really what counts in the long run. We will show signs of aging, our figures will not be the same in 10, 20, 30 years as they are now, character is the one thing that will stay with us forever. In the first few dates, we are all on our best behavior. If you want to see someone as they really are, see how they treat waiters, cab drivers; how they talk about their families, how they deal with the unexpected(a rainstorm, show tickets are sold out, etc.) By all means, make sure you are attracted to the person physically and vice versa, make sure that if you're not in the same place religiously, that you are going in the same direction. I've learned from experience that if you have issues with the character/personality of the person you're dating that most likely, what you see is what you get so you better a. learn to live with it. or b. end that relationship and find someone who is better for you.

Rebecca's kindness and compassion shone through and that was why she became the wife of Issac and one of our matriarchs. That is one thing I want to work on in my dating. Whatever dates I go on (it will be decided whether or not I will blog about them) I will keep kindness and character in the front of my mind. If I hear someone say that the Torah does not apply to them, then I will be happy to talk about the lessons of Chayei Sarah.

* Cheesy 80s song by Nelson; Gunnar and Matthew Nelson, twins with long pretty blond hair that was way prettier than normal for mens hair, they are part of the famous Nelson family. Recently, Gunnar Nelson appeared on Celebrity Fit Club, the VH1 show where has-been celebrities go to lose weight and get on the B-list or C-list of fame.

P.S. If I got any details of Chayei Sarah wrong, I apologize.