Ben vs. Noel: What Do Women Want?

My mom and I loved to watch "Felicity", it was our Wednesday night ritual. The show started airing right after I graduated college and it was interesting to watch a show about college kids right after I finished that phase of life. The show was awesome in its first 2 years but sort of started going downhill in the last year and a half of its airing. I re-watched some of the show through the WE network.

For most of the show, Felicity was caught between Ben Covington and Noel Crane. Ben was the guy she had a crush on in high school (they grew up in California) and one of the reasons she went to college in New York was to be near him. Noel was the RA of her dorm and he convinced her to stay in New York when she had doubts about going to school so far away from home. Ben was the popular guy in high school, he was a jock, seemed to have alot of friends but as we get to know him, we find out he has his own secrets. Noel is the earnest, geeky cute guy, he goes out of his way for Felicity, the relationship started out as a big brother/little sister relationship but grew into romance.

Even though Felicity, Ben, and Noel dated other people at various times, the main story was always the dynamic between the three of them. Ben was not the greatest boyfriend to her, he was flaky, stood her up for dates, was withdrawn and moody at times, had issues with gambling and alcohol, kind of cheated on her, but Felicity always took him back no matter what. Ben was exciting to her, the sensitive bad boy. On the other hand, Noel was a very sweet boyfriend. Besides the whole almost hooking up with his ex-girlfriend thing, he was reliable and always looked out for her. He was a straight-laced guy, never really got in any trouble with the law.

I've always struggled with the question of how important physical attraction really is. Of course, you can't find your mate repulsive but is it really important that there should be sparks right from the beginning? Sometimes there are sparks right away but it overpowers things so much in the beginning that you don't really know who the person is until you are too involved and at that point, you are so invested in the relationship. I also know of other relationships where the couple starts out as friends and a relationship builds gradually over a long period of time. First comes respect, then comes like, followed by love (or something like that).

Personally, I have been out with both types of guys. Somehow I'm more attracted to the Ben type of guy (surprise, surprise) but lately I've been thinking 'Why not give the Noel type of guy a chance?' I might be pleasantly surprised.