Wednesday Musings

We are already in the middle of the week, only 2 more days until Shabbas : )

An article of mine has been published on Beyond BT, www.beyondbt.com. I am very happy that the article has already generated some good discussion.

24 was awesome as usual, I really hope that Lennox character is next in line to get the Jack Bauer treatment. What an a-hole!! How dare he threaten Karen Hayes! I have a feeling that she will get back at him later this season and I am looking forward to that.

I don't like most of the new music that's out today but there are a few songs that have caught my attention. Favorite new songs of mine are "Smile", "Say It Right", and "The Sweet Escape". The lyrics of "Smile" are very witty, they tell the story of a woman whose boyfriend cheated on her with her friend, she was depressed for some time but her friends helped her get through it, she sees her ex boyfriend again, and she sings "When I see you cry, it makes me smile". After hearing the crap that is "Wind It Up", it is wonderful to hear 'The Sweet Escape", I loved Akon's part in the song and hearing the song makes me think of escaping to someplace where it is not freezing cold.

There is an intersting article on MSN today with this headling "Are You Better Off Single?"
Look at http://msn.match.com.

There are a couple ongoing things I want to write about on this blog, one is a writeup on the parsha of the week (every week we read a portion of the Torah aka The Bible). Another is a soap opera of sorts about dating in the city. Maybe it is time to get a little more personal....

The Ravayah

Saturday night, I went with a friend to the Ravayah (www.ravayah.org). The event was organized by Rabbi David Ingber of Kehilat Romemu. The event was at a yoga studio downtown. The event had a great mix of dancing and Jewish rituals. There was a *havdalah ceremony marking the end of Shabbat. There was dancing to trance music with a twist, when you walked into the dance room, you were given a blindfold. I chose not to do the blindfolded dance but there were lots of people that did. There was a live performance followed by music from a DJ. For all those who didn't want to dance, there was a cafe area where you get some light food and beverages.

The best part of this event was meeting and talking with such a wonderful diverse group of people. Everyone I talked to had such interesting life stories, I really felt Ahavas Yisroel, love for your fellow Jew. There was no alcohol served at the event so don't attribute this feeling to booze : ) These events happen once a month so if you're in the area next time around, give it a shot.

*Havdalah - a ritual marking the end of Shabbat. You say blessings over wine, spices, and candles (www.jewfaq.org)

Renewal and Rejuvenation

This Shabbas, I was back in my home shul, best known as KJ. It was great to be back, especially with words of wisdom from Rabbi Shaya Karlinsky, co-founder and Dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam/Shapell College and Midreshet Rachel College of Jewish Studies for Women.

In Parshas Bo, we learn that the first thing that the Jewish people are commanded to do is to sanctify time "H-shem said to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying "This month shall be for you the beginning of the months, it shall be for you the first of the months of the year". One wonders why this commandment was given as the first one. Why not observing Shabbat or keeping kosher? Rabbi Karlinsky explained that in Egypt, we were slaves and time was meaningless to us because we weren't in control of our time. Great, we're free but we don't know what to do with our time, how to control time. That's why the commandment of Rosh Chodesh is given to us first.

So what is Rosh Chodesh? Well, we have to go over the Jewish calendar first. Our calendar is based on the moon. Rosh Chodesh has to be proclaimed by the Rabbinic Court, two witnesses must testify that they saw the re-appearance of the moon. A 12 month year contains 354 days, we have a Jewish leap year. In the leap year, we add a 13th month 7 times every 19 years so Nissan is always in the right place. We wouldn't want to be celebrating Pesach when the weather is cold.

As we know, the moon looks different from night to night. One night, the moon appears to be nothing but a sliver, the next night, the moon comes back full force. That symbolizes the Jewish people, just when you think we have been eliminated, we have come back stronger. The Egyptian empire, the Greek empire, the Roman empire, what do they all have in common? They tried to destroy the Jews and they are extinct.

Rabbi Karlinsky likened the moon waxing and waning to the struggles of the Jewish people, communally and individually. In the winter, the days are shorter and the nights are longer and in the spring, we have shorter nights and longer days. Like the moon, we have our bright moments and our dark moments. He made a point of saying that we have our dark moments and that is to be expected. But, we will always come back renewed and stronger than before.

I really needed to hear this speech. Lately, I've been struggling with some personal stuff and have been under some stress trying to set things up for going into grad school, and also remaining in the here and now and being focused on doing my job well. This gave me some much needed strength.

A nice couple hosted a community lunch, great conversation, more wise words from Rabbi Karlinsky, singing from Jewbilation, a singing duo that re-writes popular songs and gives them a Jewish twist. I've gotten to know both of these men very well over the past year and they are such mentsches, kind, thoughtful, humorous, decent men.

Motzei Shabbas (Sat. night) I went to a party downtown called Ravayah. That will be the subject of my next post.

P.S. Some of the information I got on Rosh Chodesh was from the commentary in the Stone Edition of the Torah.

Ben vs. Noel: What Do Women Want?

My mom and I loved to watch "Felicity", it was our Wednesday night ritual. The show started airing right after I graduated college and it was interesting to watch a show about college kids right after I finished that phase of life. The show was awesome in its first 2 years but sort of started going downhill in the last year and a half of its airing. I re-watched some of the show through the WE network.

For most of the show, Felicity was caught between Ben Covington and Noel Crane. Ben was the guy she had a crush on in high school (they grew up in California) and one of the reasons she went to college in New York was to be near him. Noel was the RA of her dorm and he convinced her to stay in New York when she had doubts about going to school so far away from home. Ben was the popular guy in high school, he was a jock, seemed to have alot of friends but as we get to know him, we find out he has his own secrets. Noel is the earnest, geeky cute guy, he goes out of his way for Felicity, the relationship started out as a big brother/little sister relationship but grew into romance.

Even though Felicity, Ben, and Noel dated other people at various times, the main story was always the dynamic between the three of them. Ben was not the greatest boyfriend to her, he was flaky, stood her up for dates, was withdrawn and moody at times, had issues with gambling and alcohol, kind of cheated on her, but Felicity always took him back no matter what. Ben was exciting to her, the sensitive bad boy. On the other hand, Noel was a very sweet boyfriend. Besides the whole almost hooking up with his ex-girlfriend thing, he was reliable and always looked out for her. He was a straight-laced guy, never really got in any trouble with the law.

I've always struggled with the question of how important physical attraction really is. Of course, you can't find your mate repulsive but is it really important that there should be sparks right from the beginning? Sometimes there are sparks right away but it overpowers things so much in the beginning that you don't really know who the person is until you are too involved and at that point, you are so invested in the relationship. I also know of other relationships where the couple starts out as friends and a relationship builds gradually over a long period of time. First comes respect, then comes like, followed by love (or something like that).

Personally, I have been out with both types of guys. Somehow I'm more attracted to the Ben type of guy (surprise, surprise) but lately I've been thinking 'Why not give the Noel type of guy a chance?' I might be pleasantly surprised.

I Don't Know How To Do This Anymore

In the 2nd episode of 24, Jack Bauer says this line as he's watching Assad torture his former colleague and eventually kill him once he gets the information he needs.

This line also describes the way I feel about dating in NYC right now. I've always been reluctant in the past to write about my dating experiences on the blog; besides the whole loshon hara* thing, I watched as celebrities like Jennifer Lopez got raked over the coals over every hook up and break up. Even J Lo learned to keep her mouth shut about her love life.

After thinking about this, I decided that I want to write about lessons learned from certain relationships and my feelings about dating; I think I can do that without getting into too many details about specific people that I have dated, we'll see how successful I am at that.

This phase of life can seem endless; my problem isn't meeting people; I meet people at meals, through friends, in synagogue, etc. It only takes one person but why is it so hard to find the right person? Do we really make things more difficult for ourselves?

Last Shabbas, my friend talked about past relationships she was in; she was engaged previously and has been through the wringer with dating. In the past, men have told her that she was too needy and that she needed to be more independent. When she was dating the man who would become her husband, he told her "You're needy and that's all right. It's okay for you to depend on me". In the end, she didn't have to change who she was; she found someone who accepted her for who she is.

What a powerful message that is. All I can do is just be myself, such a simple thing but it's so easy to forget that when relationships don't work out. You think "If only I was less/more religous, outgoing, etc." and/or "If only he/she was less/more religious, outgoing, etc." The older you get, the harder each failed relationship can be on you. I've been dating for almost half of my life and you'd think it would get easier but it doesn't.

Since becoming more observant in Judaism, I've learned about dating in the religious world and it makes me realize that maybe I never knew how to date in the first place. I think I started dating because everyone around me was doing it and it seemed that it was the thing to do. When it comes to dating for marriage, I feel at times that I have no idea what I'm doing. It is daunting to change habits that have taken years and years to develop. That doesn't mean I'll stop trying, it just means that it'll take longer than anticipated to change the way I date from just dating for the heck of it to dating for marriage.

Loshon hara: one of the biggest sins concerning speech; saying negative things about another person. There's a whole lot more to it than that, for more info look at www.jewfaq.org.

Thursday morning reading

This morning, I received a forward of a speech from Ben Stein:

SOMETHING NOT TO LAUGH ABOUT If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly. The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary

Here with at this happy time of year, a few confessions from mybeating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I ama subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. If this is what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don' t feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year.

It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period.I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitlyatheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat! !; Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny,it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?"(regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly
backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings,etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. TheBible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and wemight damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We saidan expert should know what he's talking about and we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about! sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discardit...no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

Deep thoughts for a Thursday morning. What are your opinions on this speech?

What Not To Do Before You Go to Sleep

Last night was a relaxing night; after visiting my nephew, I went home, had dinner, did a couple chores, and caught up on the latest episodes of Heroes and Little Mosque on the Prairie. I also watched the first 3 episodes of 24 online because I didn't see those last week. That was not a good idea; the episodes were awesome but it is definitely not the thing you want to watch before you go to sleep. I was dreaming of explosive devices.

Ladies Weekend

This past weekend was fabulous. For Shabbat, I stayed with a friend on the upper west side for the Shabbos Kallah of a wonderful friend. I've known J., the kallah, for almost 5 years. We learned together at Aish Hatorah and we have been through thick and thin together. It was very fitting that the Shabbos Kallah was on the west side, this is where J. started her journey towards becoming observant in Judaism and she has come full circle. Friday night, 6 of us went to a family's home for dinner. Their kids were absolutely adorable, even though they tried to lock us in the closet. Seriously, the food and conversation were fabulous, there was such good spiritual energy in that home.

We went to Shabbat services at Aish, then we went to my friend's place for lunch. It was a very leisurely lunch, a group of 10 highly intelligent, kind, beautiful women coming together for the kallah. Sat. night, my best friend came up and we stayed in and rented 'The Devil Wears Prada", fabulous film and book as well. Speaking of, congrats to Meryl Streep for her Academy Award nomination for Best Actress, she was fabulous as Miranda Priestly, couldn't even recognize her at first. She plays bitchy so well.

The wedding was on Sunday, my friends and I made it to Brooklyn (where the wedding was) in good time. Since I was in the bridal party, I needed to get there early for hair, makeup, and pictures. J. picked out an all pink outfit for me, and it was a decent outfit. I would wear the skirt and blouse separately on other occasions too. J.'s dress was fabulous, she had pink and purple flowers on the dress and it looked beautiful. She looked like a ballerina, very fitting because she loves ballet. The chuppah was beautiful, the rabbi did a wonderful job officiating, very charismatic speaker.

Then, the dancing started and we had a blast. The bride fell, the mother-in-law fell (at least according to second hand reports, I didn't see it happen) and I fell on my butt when my friend and I lost our footing while spinning around, don't ask. Whoever thinks that Orthodox Jews don't know how to party have not been to an Orthodox wedding. The food was wonderful, especially the molten lava dessert. I had chocolate ice cream on top of a warm chocolate chip brownie.

After the wedding, my best friend and I went back to my place, changed clothes, and went to visit her younger sister who is staying in a hotel in the city for work. Her younger sister has an adorable Chihuahua, normally I don't like those dogs but this one is a cutie. The room she is in is fabulous, and the company she works for is paying for the room. Awesome stuff!

24 was awesome last night, can't wait to see Heroes on nbc.com, I did read some spoilers on Inside Pulse so I do know a little of what happened. It sucks that 24 and Heroes are on at the same time but thank g-d that NBC airs their shows on their website the day after so if you missed it, you can catch up. There is not a new episode of Ugly Betty this week : (.
I've watched the first episode of Little Mosque on the Prairie, a show on Muslim life in a small town in Canada, thanks to a little site called You Tube, heard of it? LMOTP is a cute little show, very enjoyable and I can't wait to see the 2nd episode. The VH1 reality shows kind of stink, i've lost interest in Surreal Life Fame Games, and I Love New York is just ridiculous. I have caught glimpses of the show and the prevailing thought in my mind is that people will do and say just about anything to be on TV. I remember a time when there were on reality shows on TV and we were very happy with that. Let's hope the reality TV craze dies down.

Song of the Week

Last week, I posted some song lyrics from Whitney Houston and I had so much fun with that so I decided that I will post song lyrics once a week.

This week's song is from Beyonce. I downloaded "B-Day" off of I Tunes and I love that album. The whole thing clocks just under 40 minutes and most of the songs are made for shaking your booty to. One of my favorite songs on there is "Irreplaceable". It's refreshing to hear a breakup song when the woman kicks the man out and she is the one in charge.

To the left,to the left
To the left,to the left
Everything you own in a box to left in the closet,yes that's my stuff.Yes if I bought it then please don't touch(don't touch)
And keep on talkin that mess that's fine but could you walk and talk at the same time and it's my name that's on that tag so go move your bags while I call you a cab.
Breakdown: Standin in the front yard,telling me I'm such a fool,talkin bout' how i'll never find a man like you.You got me twisted.
Hook: You must not know bout' me,you must not know bout' me.I could have another you in a minute,matter fact he'll be here in a minute,baby.You must not know bout me ,you must not know bout me. I'll have another you by tomorow so don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' your irreplaceable.

verse 2: so go ahead and get gone.Call up that chick and see if she's home.Oops I bet you thought I didn't know.What did you think I was putting you out for? Because you was untrue. Ridin' her around in the car I bought you. Baby drop them keys. Hurry up before your taxi leaves. (Repeat Breakdown)

(Repeat Hook)
Bridge: So since I'm not your everything how about I be nothing? Nothing at all to you . baby I won't shed a tear for you. I won't lose a wink of sleep cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy
To the left,to the left To the left,to the left mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
To the left,to the left Everything you own in a box to left
To the left,to the left Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin your irreplaceable
(Repeat Hook 2xs)
END

Freehold in The News

The Sunday edition of the New York Times had a touching article on two incidents that happened in Freehold recently, one weird and the other tragic (which I posted about on Friday). I would link you to the article but apparently I don't know how to link to this article without giving you a ridiculously long link. Can anyone help with that?

Hooray for Ugly Betty

At the Golden Globe Awards last night, Ugly Betty had a great night. The show won for best comedy and America Ferrera won for best actress in a comedy. Here is an excerpt from AP:

Sending big stars home empty-handed, the Golden Globes gave a boost to some television newcomers on Monday, particularly America Ferrera of ABC's "Ugly Betty" and
Alec Baldwin of NBC's "30 Rock."

Teary-eyed but smiling widely, Ferrera won the award for best comic actress on TV just a few minutes after the show itself was named best comedy.

It was a true underdog's tale. Ferrera competed against four women who had all been nominated for Golden Globes in the past, including two desperate housewives. ABC had such little faith in "Ugly Betty" initially that it was scheduled for the TV graveyard of Friday nights, until the network sensed a buzz and premiered it on Thursday, where it has flourished.

Ferrera said she hears every day from girls inspired by her character, Betty Suarez, saying it "truly brings a new face to television."

Request for Prayers

Recently I found out that E., a friend of mine from Aish NY, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and started chemotherapy on Sunday. E. was one of the first people I met when I started going to Shabbat dinners through Aish about 5 years ago. Not only is he an intelligent guy but he is incredibly kind, humble, and has such positive energy about him. We used to see each other at meals and Wed. night classes and socializing after those classes. He moved to Israel 2 1/2 years ago and got married about 6 months ago.

To all my Jewish readers, if you want to say tehillim for him, his Hebrew name is Elimelech David ben Chaya Bayla. May he have a speedy recovery.

A Night At Brandy's

Last night, I went to Brandy's Piano Bar. If you're into watching people sing all sorts of stuff from show tunes to soft rock, then this is your place. Everyone sings along and it is a very friendly, laid-back place. The best thing to do is to get to Brandy's early, definitely before 10 PM so you have some chance of grabbing a small table or some seats at the bar. My friends and I were sitting in the corner of the bar; good thing was we had plenty of room to put our coats and spread out but the bad part is we were right by the door so we got a blast of cold air everytime someone came in or out.

We were hanging out with a few people, one of who was on The Apprentice. Yes, you heard right, I hung out with a former Apprentice. Funny part is I used to watch that show all the time yet I didn't realize that this person was on the show until the pianist pointed this person out. And I thought I was a celeb-a-holic....

Absolutely Heartbreaking

This is my reaction to the New York Times magazine cover story. To sum up, a young man from Sierra Leone wrote of his time as a child soldier during the civil war. He lost his parents and siblings in the war and served as a soldier for 2 years. The first half of the story focuses on his time as a soldier and the last half focuses on his time in a rehab center. He comes across a kind worker and he learns to trust her and opens up to her about his experiences. When I read stories like this, I think that the world has a long way to go. At the same time, I am inspired by this young man and his ability to trust in people again after such a harrowing experience. I think we can all learn something from him.

Sad News

There was a car crash on Wednesday afternoon and unfortunately 3 teens and an elderly woman died. The crash involved a few students from my youngest brother's high school; in fact one of the kids who died was in my brother's class. You can never be too careful behind the wheel.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/12/nyregion/12crash.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion&oref=slogin

Time to Exhale

This week, I saw part of "Waiting to Exhale" on cable, one of my favorite chick flicks. The movie is based on the book by Terry McMillan; sometimes movie interpretations of books aren't so good. This movie is just as good as the book. The acting was fabulous, it was great to see all the characters come to life from the book, you get to see a young Donald Faison in the film, Dennis Haysbert aka President Palme has a featured role, and last but not least, the film is directed by Forest Whitaker, who is getting so much praise for his acting in "The Last King of Scotland".

What was I talking about again? Oh that's right, "Waiting to Exhale", and I didn't even mention one of my favorite lines in the movie; after Robin goes to bed with Michael, a co-worker, you hear a voiceover "He thinks he just did something?!? I could have had a V8". The soundtrack is not too shabby either, the best song from the movie is Whitney Houston's "Exhale (Shoop Shoop)", without further ado:

Everyone falls, in love sometimes
Sometimes it's wrong, and sometimes it's right
For every win, someone must fail
But there comes a point when... When we exhale,
yeah yeah Say, shoop, shoop, shoop...
All you gotta do is say shoop, shoop, shoop...
My Lord now, shoop, shoop...

2-Sometimes you laugh, sometimes you cry
Life never tells us, the whens and whys
When you've got friends, to wish you well
You'll find a point when, you will exhale
Yeah, yeah Say, shoop, shoop, shoop.. Say shoobedoo...
Oh, hearts are often broken When there are words unspoken
In your soul there's, answers to your prayers
If you're searching for, a place you know
A familiar face, somewhere to go
You should look inside your soul
And you're half way there

(rpt 2)
I say shoop, shoop... Feels all right, you can say shoop...

Not Even Normal

I'm not talking about myself, although this certainly applies to me : ) It's the title of a play I saw on Sunday afternoon at The Jewish Center. Rachel Factor is a very extraordinary woman, to find out more about her go to www.rachelfactor.com.

The show is about her journey to Orthodox Judaism. After converting in a Conservative synagogue, she married her husband, Todd (now Tuvia) and soon after, they had a chlid. New issues came up and after much thought and struggle, Rachel decided to undergo an Orthodox conversion. The show was partly her talking about her journey, singing some original songs, and even some dancing. She is a very engaging person, and her story is very inspirational.

When you become more observant, as I am, you learn all sorts of interesting things, like kol isha, which basically prohibits a woman from singing in a room with men. Supposedly, a woman's singing voice is very arousing, unless you hear Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem. Anyway, if you make a living as a singer and/or a dancer, and you want to become observant, this can pose many issues. So, it was even more impressive to see Rachel Factor performing because she used to be a Rockette, acted in commercials, etc. She still uses her talents but channels them in an appropriate way in her community. She is touring this week, go and see her show if you can.

A Tough Question

Being the only observant Jew in my immediate family, I get asked many questions about Orthodox Judaism. Some are very straightforward questions about keeping shabbat and kosher and other questions are more difficult to answer. The last time I visited my parents, my mom asked me why there are some observant Jews that are very strict about keeping shabbat and kosher but not so strict about keeping the laws of shomer negia*.

My first reaction about hearing this question was "Do I really have to answer this?", I don't like being put into the position of spokesperson for Orthodox Judiasm, especially since I am very uncomfortable labeling how I practice Judaism.

After that initial thought, I decided to give it a shot. First I mentioned to my mom that people are putting off marriage for a variety of reasons, wanting to establish careers, live on their own before being married, etc. There is less of a stigma in society these days when it comes to premarital sex and living together before marriage, ie the popularity of "Sex and the City".

When you get married young, you don't have to struggle so much when it comes to shomer negia, although there are different struggles to be faced. In my neighborhood, I see people who are single well into their 30s and 40s and even though times have changed, the urges for physical contact have not changed. Everyone gets lonely, even in the city that never sleeps. It takes a herculean amount of self-discipline and self-confidence in order to remain shomer negia. When you live in a city with so many options at your door, it is a wonder that adults are shomer negia today. Some people are stronger at controlling these urges and are able to wait until they get married. Regardless, no one has the right to judge. We all have our own struggles to deal with and it is better to focus on yourself and how you can be a better person rather than tearing people down.

Has anyone ever had to answer these type of questions before? How would you have handled the situation?


*Shomer Negia - laws of touch; to sum it up, you are not allowed to touch any member of the opposite sex (other than immediate family) until marriage.

Downtown MacBeth

Last night, a friend invited me to see an off-off-off Broadway production of Macbeth that was playing downtown. The last time I read MacBeth was in high school, so as you can imagine, it has been a long time since I've had any exposure to that play.

The theatre was on MacDougal St., it's called Manhattan Theatre Source. The venue was awesome, there was a cafe downstairs and a performance space upstairs. The play was sold out; the theatre was very small, a 50 seat theatre, seats on either side raised up from the stage. Every seat was basically a good seat.

All the actors were superb, I was drawn into the play like it was my first time. I was able to look at MacBeth with new eyes, seeing how power can corrupt anyone. I can't help but think that this really applies to current times. January 27th is the last day so if you are up for a new twist on Shakespeare, this is your play.

It's 2007 already?!?

Happy New Year to all my loyal readers. I hope that this year will be a happy, healthy, and successful year for all. This is a list of things I want to accomplish in 2007, it's a mix of serious and silly (much like me).

1. Apply and get accepted to graduate school for social work.
2. Master a particular form of dance (preferably something latin).
3. Take my nephew to the Children's Museum on the upper west side.
4. Take classes in improv or stand up comedy and maybe even perform.
5. Make a shabbat meal for my family (I don't mean ordering in!).
6. Go to Chabad services with my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. There's a Chabad house equidistant between my bro's place and my place.
7. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and back. I hear the views are amazing.
8. Learn how to knit, for real (for those who don't know, I am in a knitting club and have been learning how to knit for years).
9. Join a book club.
10. Last but not least, would love to get married or at the very least be in a relationship that is heading towards marriage.

Will I accomplish all these goals? Only time will tell : )